v/a - ham slappin' hits!

released: 1998
label: slap a ham records

hey kids! you like powerviolence,right? of course you do! and what would a powerviolece kid's life be like without a tape that has 75 songs on it? that's right! not very powerviolence-y! they'd be stuck listening to things like [name redacted] or [name redacted] or [name redacted] or even worse...the radio! gasp!

this could be the best powerviolence mixtape you've never made!
but no one needs to know that!
just make everyone believe that you put alot of time and effort into it!
everyone likes a good mixtape...it says so in the bible!
remember how all of your friends would get when you'd present them with one?
"fuck yeah! i love mixtapes! i don't want to go against the bible!"

but what they're really thinking is....

"another one? i haven't even listened to the other 3 they gave me! dammit! do they just think that i have all the time in the world to just sit around waiting for some tape filled with things i probably don't even like? i have things to do! i do! i mean. yeah. things to do! like make lunch and stuff. gotta think about what i want for lunch. and there's that thing on tv. and there's that book i've been thinking about picking up and flipping through. and there's that one thing. yeah! i have things to do! how dare they think my life revolves around their mixtapes! i have a pornography collection that i have to alphabetize!"

end scene.
and what was it that you took away from that experience?
yes.
friends are overrated.
congratulations!
and here's your graduation cactus.

[insert track listing here]*
*=does not include bonus tracks

DL