conan neutron and the secret friends - protons and electrons

released: 2019
label: seismic wave entertainment


you probably recognize the name conan neutron. he's been interviewed by SGM. we've backed all of his endeavors (replicator/mount vicious/victory and associates/him wanting to enter every chili cook-off he hears about). the story between SGM and mr. neutron goes back a-ways....

i was just about ready to leave the office one night when something came crashing through the front door's window. at first i thought it was a brick wrapped in bubble wrap because we'd been having some problems with the neighbors. so the plan was that i was going to scoop up the brick and fire it back through the window in hopes that it would hit the person the tossed it through because when someone throws something at something they feel the need to stick around to see what happens. some people's kids,man. so i picked up the brick and was getting ready to toss it when i felt it move. i stopped and eyeballed it. did i feel it move? didn't i feel it move? and that's when i felt something wrap itself around my finger. it was a tiny hand. i took the thing into the break room and put it on a table. whatever was in there was trying to get out. i'd seen the movie ALIEN so i knew what was going to happen next so i put my face closer to it. whatever was in there was having a problem with trying to escape and i was quickly losing interest and just wanted to go home and catch FRIENDS. i picked it up and started to unwrap it and the next thing i saw was something that looked like a troll doll with the eyes of a puppy. all i could do was look at it. i was captured by its eyes. and then it appeared to be choking so i gave it some pats on the backside amd then it spoke..."i wanna rock" it said and then looked as if it were playing an invisible guitar. so to make a not so long story short: that was the moment i'd decided that i would raise it as my own. i didn't give it a name because i thought that maybe it would want to pick one  out itself. it lived in a drawer at my desk until it was ready to go out on its own. i fashioned him an outfit out of a brown paper bag and took it to the bus station because it felt that it had to go out west. it left on that bus with the understanding that it had to come back one day so i could know everything that it had achieved. fast forward a few years later and i'm taking my mid-morning nap on the hammock i have in my office when this guy comes walking in with a guitar strapped to his back. "hello. i'm conan neutron." he says and the rest is history.

*roll credits*

and now for conan neutron and his secret friends.
once upon a time (the) melvins had released a single every month for a year and then they put all of those singles onto 2 compact discs and called it SINGLES 1-12.
that's kinda sorta what this is like.
it's splits with conan neutron and the secret friends.
disc 1 is made up of one half of the split (aka conan neutron and the secret friends).
disc 2 is made up on the other half of the split (aka the other bands)
understand?
ya dig?

"just who are some of these other bands?"

they have names like: trophy wives and nonagon and reptoid and cartographer and (the) dale crover band.

i should mention that that dale crover guy is totally double dipping.
not only does he have something on disc 2 but he's also all over disc 1 (he's one of the secret friends).

and this is the part of the show where you should prepare yourself for some straight up good ol' fashioned rock AND roll.
there's none of that half-assed shit here,kids.

DL