All Hail Archers Of Loaf

Got off my ass last night to leave the house, which is an increasing rarity, but when Archers Of Loaf coming calling, I must heed the call. And they were as good as they ever were in their heyday, the band was killing it, Eric Bachman's vocals sounded great, and the crowd, while fucking nerdy as shit, was less balding and paunchy than I expected.
The Holy Trinity of North Carolina Rock is intact! Archers Of Loaf - Corrosion Of Conformity - Buzzoven

Gus - Hetero Bash Was Flipper

Label: Slow To Burn
Year: 1994

Prior to the Internet and the ability to have heard of every single band known to man, there was a magical experience being shared all over the basements of 1994 America, and that friends, was having some unknown Canadian punk bad roll into town and completely blow you the fuck away. You were going to every show anyway, so just because you had never heard the name "Gus" before didn't mean anything, you hadn't heard of most of the bands that were stringing together 2 week tours based on info they had cobbled together out of the back of MaximumRocknRoll. Again, in the pre-internet days, that was part of the fun, figuring out what you actually liked based on the sound of the music, and not on the opinion of some retard with a blog (who, me?).
So, this band Gus roll into the basement of the DriverDome (holla atcha boy Double J!), and I think they might have been opening for a band I was in, maybe, or something like that. But, I remember them not being particularly nice, or pleasant, but that could have easily been the result of uncomfortable, hot, sick, broke days driving around to play for half interested "crowds" of 20-50 people a night, or from being the only Canadians in a group of self righteous Atlanta punkers. Either way. Doesn't matter, what does matter is this: they set up, plugged in, and proceeded to annihilate that room with a searing blast of Born Against worship. It was sensational. Enough so that it didn't matter how surly they might have been, I was going to brave the merch table (nee, box in the corner) to snag this exact 7". I would have regretted it for the rest of my life otherwise, because this thing smokes so hard, even to this day.
Someone requested more Vermiform stuff, and while this isn't on Vermiform, it very well could have been so you will most likely approve. Hopefully.

DL

Halo - Zero Degree Point Of Implosion

Label: Embryo
Year: 2000

"Sometimes I feel like Godflesh is 'too musical', do you know what I mean?"
"No, not really."
"But, like, I'm not really ready to get all into Throbbing Gristle or something. Like, I don't want to be one of 'those people'."
"What people?"
"You know, those dudes who wear German military gear and shave the undersides of their hair."
"Are you talking about professional swimmers?"
'What?"
"Didn't you just say something about shaving your body hair?"
"No. What? Are you even listening to me?"
"Not really. I'm your mother, Honey, I can't keep up with all of your hairstyles and 'throbbing whatevers'. In fact, I don't even want to know what that is frankly. Now go to bed Sweetpea, I'll see you in the morning. I'm sure whatever is throbbing will have stopped by the time you wake up, and if not, we can take you to see Dr. Pam. Good night."
"Good night Mom. Love you."

DL

Guzzard - Glued

Label: Amphetamine Reptile
Year: 1993

Two songs by Guzzard are more entertaining than, say, twelve songs by 99% of other bands out there (you gotta remember, there are TONS of other bands out there). I get on a Guzzard kick every few months, not unlike how I get on a Hammerhead kick, or Unwound kick, or Archers Of Loaf kick, or what have you. It's easy to come back to this band over and over because their formula never ever gets old. They are getting old, as in creeping ever closer to death, but their formula is still tight as a nun's b-hole. One would assume.

DL

Craw + Sicbay - Split

Label: Obtuse Mule
Year: 2000

Craw have been subject of high praise around here (I'm pointing to myself), and even though this record can support a single track, it's still well worth it. They lurch and punch through a perfect three minute treatise on how to craft a heavy, dynamic, and rocking exercise. Each riff is a punch to your midsection, designed to force full headbanging whether vountary or not. Please don't let the Sun Ra reference fool you.
Sicbay come out swinging a little faster, in a more traditional Midwest Noise Rock (patent pending) manner. Remember this is the band lead by Nick Sakes of Dazzling Killmen/Colossamite "fame", so they are well aware of how to warp a few riffs together with a skittering drum beat and some shouting. Well aware.

DL

Engine Kid - Heater Sweats Nails

Label: Troubleman
Year: 1995

Side A: Engine Kid rips your face off, shits in your child's crib, and drinks your last cold beer before running out the back door and into the woods not to be heard from again for some time. Oppressively heavy, brutal, and mean, this is what they sounded like live, the guitars were turned to "annihilate", and that they do.
Side B: Engine Kid returns to your home to apologize, clean up they mess they made, and restock your fridge with a sixer of smooth, crisp, barley pops. An instrumental that could have been a long lost Slint slow jam.

DL

Alice Donut - Get A Life / Get A Job

Label: Vital
Year: 1992

The two sides of Alice Donut conveniently displayed on the two sides of this 7". One side is the noisy punk band, the flip is the psycho-folk-junk Alice Donut tended to pepper each release with. I'm sure you have your preference as to which version of the band you enjoy more, I certainly do, but I would hate to sully your own personal opinions with my life choices, so I will keep that information to myself.

DL

16 + The American Psycho Band - Split

Label: No Lie
Year: 1994

First off, Happy Birthday America. U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A!
Second, split 7"s are the best aren't they? A quick burst from a band that you like, for whom you purchased the record to begin with, then a surprise hit or miss from a band you've maybe heard of but never actually heard on the flip side. Certainly that was the case for this funky lil platter (big ups to Spazz) which I grabbed for the 16 track, a band that has yet to fail me in the misanthropic-sludge-hate-pounding department, and a band that took a sawed off shotgun approach to releasing records during their fertile 1992-1994 period, scattering their output across five or so different labels. It was a challenge even back then to track down all their myriad Pushead/Bacteria Sour/Pessimiser/Standard/Reverb etc. 7"s to fashion a complete set of 16 trading cards.
The "unknown" band to me on this record was The American Psycho Band, who hailed from Austin, Texas (along with 5000 other great bands at the time), and who's one song here blew me away, thus completing the "Split 7" Perfect Storm", that is, buying a record for a band you like, but then being pleasantly surprised by the unknown band sharing the record. The American Psycho band were a thicker Swiz, mixed with a burlier Quicksand, they managed to deliver rolling waves of heavy post hardcore that could hold up to the 16 track, but had it's own character.
I think that if you're lighting off Roman Candles this evening to celebrate the American victory over the French (or whoever), who tried to steal our tea (or something), this two song 7" will go great with the Freedom Fries and the smell of burning hair (which you will inevitably catch fire to while launching your d.i.y. pyrotechnics). Enjoy!

DL