scrotum grinder - the greatest sonic abomination ever

released: 2001
label: prank records

once upon a time i was living in a town called brandon located in florida. it's just outside of tampa. one day i was wandering around 1 of the 3 places my roommates knew where to find me if'n they needed to as i didn't have a cellphone at the time. and just in case you're curious:
1: the record store i was currently in. i can't remember its name.
2: the record store down the street from where i was living (aka SOUND IDEA).
3: barnes & noble
as i was wandering about the aisles i came to a stop in front of an album by a band named scrotum grinder. i had never heard of them before. and i paid the $6 for the album on the name alone. 2 days later i bought the album on vinyl at SOUND IDEA. folks got tired of always having to hear the cd getting played in my van (i was going between this album and BURN,PIANO ISLAND,BURN by the blood brothers for awhile there).
the band had an angry female as a vocalist.
that sort of thing is in my wheelhouse.
i came to find out that the band was from tampa but had been broken up for a bit. and then i came to find out that they were reforming to play a day long show at the SOUND IDEA. and i had to fucking be there. i HAD to fucking be there. but apparently when you ask for a day off before the schedule at a job even gets made doesn't mean you'll get it. not even if you're all like "seriously,doug. i need that day off. need. that.day.off." and he shakes his head as if stating "ok. i get it. now get back to work. those dishes aren't going to wash themselves.".

that's a good story,grampa.

they have links to bands with names like:
memento mori
failure face
no statik
hankshaw
assuck

if you dig bands like kill the man who questions or early kylesa or guyana punch line or robot has werewolf hand or damad or combatwoundedveteran....
that is if you've even heard of any of them.
you have?
wanna get together and hangout sometime or something?
don't worry.
my parents will be there the entire time.
they're legally obligated to not leave me at home alone anymore.

DL

spazz / brutal truth - split

released: 1996
label: bovine records/rhetoric records

what you're being given here are 2 bands at the top of their respective genres.
spazz is all out powerviolence.
brutal truth gives you that grindcore.
and with that you have the soundtrack to the next (roughly) 12 minutes of your day.
enjoy.

1 - spazz - spazz vs. mother nature
2 - spazz - nuge on a stick
3 - spazz - donger
4 - brutal truth - pork farm
5 - brutal truth - rumours (die kruezen cover)
6 - brutal truth - foolish bastard

DL

henry rollins / gore - live

released: 1987
label: eksakt records

you know all about some henry rollins.
fronted blag flag.
likes to be called hank.
has something to say about everything.
blah blah blah.

as for gore....
they were a band from the netherlands that played some instrumental noise rock/metal in the vein of later black flag and early (the) melvins and other bands that share a sound with later black flag and early (the) melvins.

so there ya go.
ta and da.

1 - henry rollins - black and white
2 - henry rollins - what am i doing here?
3 - henry rollins - lost and found
4 - henry rollins - followed around
5 - henry rollins - ghost rider (suicide cover)
6 - henry rollins - hot animal machine
7 - gore - mean man's dream
8 - gore - extirpation
9 - gore - to the gallows
10 - gore - arena

henry rollins recorded at el mocambo on 5.17.87 in toronto,ontario
gore records at de bakkerij on 6.9.87 in eindhoven,holland

DL

soundgarden - 3.3.14 - itunes festival sxsw - austin,tx

you know soundgarden.
you know the album SUPERUNKNOWN.
this is soundgarden playing SUPERUNKNOWN in order live in its entirety.

DL

choke their rivers with our dead - 2002 tour cd

i came across these boys and girl from charlotte,nc back in the mp3.com days. ah,the mp3.com days. those were the salad days,bro. the future was wide open. not a care in the world.

fun fact: once upon a time the band's vocalist (cristina) and i had written a few letters back and forth to each other. strictly as fan and musician. she sent me a mix cd. it was a good one. and then i lost it somewhere along the line. stupid dumb line.

this was a self-released 4 song cd that was handed out whilst the band toured (though i had to send off for one as they weren't coming anywhere near me...as most things don't).

as far as i know the band were together for only a few years and released some splits and such. they broke up back in 2003.

so if'n you like practically anything released on robotic empire (namely: pageninetynine or city of caterpillar) this is right up your alley.

yep.

DL

sonic youth - lost tracks: single b-sides and non-album tracks

released: 1994

this is one of those "unofficial releases" that you've probably heard about.
it's sonic youth.
you know about sonic youth.
at least i hope you do.
if'n you don't this probably isn't where you'd want to start.
BAD MOON RISING.
DAYDREAM NATION.
DIRTY.
MURRAY STREET.
you should go and give all of those a listen.
one right after the other.
like you have anything better to do.
your friends are all doing it.
yeah.
that's right.
put on this ronald reagan mask and then take of your shirt.
that's right.

but i digress....

this is a compilation of...well...the title pretty much sums everything up nicely.
so that's that.

1 - i know there's n answer (beach boys cover)
2 - computer age (neil young cover)
3 - electricity (captain beefheart cover)
4 - jam right pt.1
5 - jam right pt.2
6 - ca plane pour moi (plastic bertrand cover)
7 - i love you mary jane (w/cypress hill)
8 - burning farm (shonen knife cover)
9 - that's all i know (right now)
10 - the destroyed room
11 - personality crisis
12 - the end of the end of the ugly
13 - is it my body (alice cooper cover)
14 - tamara
15 - genetic
16 - hendrix necro
17 - stalker
18 - touch me i'm sick (mudhoney cover)
19 - beat on the brat (ramones cover)
20 - our backyard/traffic
21 - purr

DL

deervana - 6.19.11 - brooklyn bowl - brooklyn,ny

you like it when one thing pretends to be another,yeah?
like transformers.
like gobots.
like voltron.
like stepdads.

this is the band deer tick pretending to be nirvana.
and they put in a might fine effort if'n i do say so myself.
and i do because i just did.
don't sass me.
i don't see you out there pretending to be nirvana.
y'know what.
you can go to your room and pretend to be whatever it is you pretend to be in there.
i hear the noises.
i do your laundry.
yeah.

1 - school
2 - in bloom
3 - aneurysm
4 - blew
5 - lithium
6 - [banter]
7 - about a girl
8 - on a plain [false start]
9 - on a plain
10 - been a son
11 - serve the servants
12 - molly's lips*
13 - scentless apprentice
14 - something in the way
15 - curmudgeon
*=nirvana covering the vaselines cover

DL

sunny day real estate - friday / spade and parade

released: 1995
label: bacteria sour

this was a 7" that was put out through the pushead fan club that was only meant for member consumption.
of the fan club.
perv.

DL

smashing pumpkins - 3.16.89 - wzrd - chicago,il

it's the smashing pumpkins being the smashing pumpkins on college radio.
that sounds like a good time,right?
of course it does.

1 - venus in furs*
2 - snap
3 - my eternity
4 - east
5 - cinnamon girl**
6 - there it goes
7 - nothing and everything
8 - under your spell
9 - rhinoceros
10 - sun
11 - spiteface

DL

V/A - Shiny Grey Monotone Radio - Show 1

Label: n/a
Year: 2012

In America, it's Memorial Day. Where you are, I guess it could just be Monday...it's impossible to verify. But, in America, on Memorial Day, we freedom fighter patriots like to get together with our other free friends, and grill out some sort of foods, drink some domestic beers, and listen to rock n roll music while we talk about how awesome America is. It's pretty cool.
So, in that spirit, I wanted to give you a one hour cookout soundtrack that will surely impress your guests and ward off communism.

Way back when, we were doing an internet radio show under the same name as this blog, and so I would assemble an hour's worth of music to send off to be played each week. A cross section of the type of stuff we champion, and a mixtape of sorts, par excellence. Really excellent, actually. These mixes were painstakingly selected, sequenced, and loved. And not to toot my own horn, but...toot toot...them shits were fucking great. The radio show only lasted a few weeks, but I think I put together about 22 volumes worth of music, plus some bonus themed episodes (Washington D.C., powerviolence, Black Flag...and maybe Unwound?). Those have all disappeared off this blog years ago, and I for one, think it's a shame. So, fuck it, let's post them again, ok? This first show is particularly stacked...but they're all super fucking good.

Show One:
La Gritona
Black Elk
Milkmine
Hammerhead
Drunks With Guns
Young Ginns
Sicbay
The Sunglasses
Part Chimp
Last Of The Juanitas
Copass Grinderz
Black Mountain
Tight Bros From Way Back When
Johnboy
JJ Paradise Players Club
Archers Of Loaf
Fugazi
Polvo
Unwound
Chavez
Engine Kid
Big'N
Barkmarket

DL

v/a - masters of misery - black sabbath: the earache tribute

released: 1997
label: earache

have you ever found yourself thinking "man,there are waaaaay too many tribute albums out there. i mean...how many different varations does one really need to hear of (insert song here)? geeeeeeeeeeeeeez."

yeah.
i'm looking at you,iron maiden.

sure.
there are countless black sabbath tributes out there but this is one of the better ones.
and that's all you really need to know about this.
you've got bands that you like covering a band that you like.

"but i don't see megadeth's cover of "paranoid" on here,bro. i thought you said bands that i like were going to be on here. what gives?"

oh.
i see.
you can find that cover over yonder behind that door.
no.
go on.
open it.
don't worry about the doorknob being hot.
pussy.
that's right.
there you go.

ok then.
moving on.

1 - cathedral - wheels of confusion
2 - sleep - snowblind
3 - godflesh - zero the hero
4 - confessor - hole in the sky
5 - anal cunt - killing yourself to live
6 - fudge tunnel - changes
7 - old - who are you?
8 - brutal truth - lord of this world
9 - ultraviolence - paranoid
10 - pitchshifter - n.i.b.
11 - scorn - the wizard
12 - iron monkey - cornucopia
13 - cathedral - solitude

DL

agata - spike

released: 2004
label: tzadik

you've heard of those wacky kids melt banana,yeah?
good job.
if you haven't....
you're really missing out,bro.
fix it.
fix your head.
fix it soon because you'll want some melt banana bread.
that's right.
that just happened.
deal with it.

the band's gutarist is named ichirou agata and this here is his solo album.

ever wonder what it would sound like if you were to sit inside of a jet engine?
need to convince your neighbors that you're using a chainsaw while firing off a laser?
mr. agata would like to help you achieve those goals.
thank mr. agata,kids.

DL

black tusk & fight amp - split

released: 2009
label: brutal panda records

it would appear that there isn't all that much from the band black tusk around there here parts and for that i apologize. this is for y'all.

as for fight amp...
they're all over the place and chances are you've gotten some from us before. you're welcome. AND they're covering devo. you're welcome pt.II.

DL

v/a - a diamond hidden in the mouth of a corpse

released: 1985
label: giorno poetry systems

there have been some folks talking about you on the streets. they say that you like husker du. they say that you like sonic youth. they say that you like that guy from the swans. y'know. the singer guy. what's his na- michael gira. that's the one. i knew that it would come to me eventually. is all of that true? are you a person that....likes stuff? i never took you for one of those types. i have something for you then. you can't tell anyone where you got it because then everyone will just be expecting me to have stuff for them as well. i'm just going to lay it on the ground and then i'm going to run away. why am i running away? when people see someone like me running they always expect the worst and then they start to freak out. it's the little things,y'know? you gotta treat yourself.

1 - husker du - won't change
2 - david johansen - johnsonius
3 - john giornio band - scum & slime
4 - william s. burroughs - excerpts from the western land
5 - sonic youth - halloween
6 - cabaret voltaire - dead man's shoes
7 - diamanda galas - excerpt from eyes without blood
8 - coil - neither his nor yours
9 - michael gira - game
10 - david van tieghem - out of the frying pan
11 - jessica hagedorn & the gangster choir - tenement lover

DL

v/a - take your medicine

released: 1996
label: wonderdrug records

do you have a beard?
does this beard often tell you to eat large amounts of meat sans clothing?
is there usually fire involved?
have the police ever shown up because of some neighborhood complaints?
does your vehicle have some sort of a music playing device?
well now you have the soundtrack to that impending high speed chase.

1 - 6l6 - i can't wait
2 - scissorfight - cramp
3 - honkeyball - rodeo life
4 - stompbox - crackerlung
5 - slaughtershack - a.t.f
6 - slughog - triple clutcher
7 - swank - torque
8 - 6l6 - yeah,right
9 - quintaine americana - retarded whore
10 - rockertsled - battle of the half-wits
11 - honkeyball - cutthroat humor
12 - malachite - going under
13 - mung - daily news
14 - slughog - berzurkel
15 - scissorfight - planet of ass
15 - 6l6 - another day

DL

living colour - stain

released: 1993
label: epic

if'n i were to work in a music store and someone were to pick up this album for whatever reason and ask me about it all i'd say is "this ain't yo parents living colour!".

and then someone would wander over and say "what did i tell you about this? you don't work here! where do you keep getting these employee shirts? weren't you banned from the store for a month? i'm gonna get doug on the phone. you stay right here.".

telling me to stay and then walking away?
classic rookie mistake.

i remember seeing living colour on THE ARSENIO HALL SHOW back in 1989. they played "cult of personality". i was blown away and suddenly wanting a pair of day-glo pants. i also found myself thinking "damn. when did terence trent d'arby start fronting a metal band?" (all y'all youngins won't get that reference). i of course went out and bought a copy of VIVID but found it kind of lacking in the intensity i saw on tv. in all honesty i only ever really liked 2 songs from that album: "cult of personality" and "glamour boys". and soon i just really didn't pay any mind to the band.

fast forward about 6 years.....

i happened to be hanging out with a friend of mine and we were over at this girl's house that i'd developed a little crush on. i was pretty sure that she knew all about it because i became the "well...did you know blah blah blah" guy whenever she'd be talking about something. we were all hanging out in the living room because her parents weren't home and we were watching tv and whatnot. i'd noticed that she had some tapes laid out on the floor in front of the entertainment center. she was using the stereo because the one her parents had gotten her "sucked". it was some of the usual stuff: some sublime (which i've never liked. and you were never able to go to a party back then and not just hear a few sublime songs. nope. it was all the songs. and then it just turned into drunk sublime karaoke.) and some no doubt (TRAGIC KINGDOM was ok) and some korn (i still give their SELF-TITLED album a listen every now and again. i was the first one in my social circle back in the day that had even heard of them. their soing "clown" was on a sampler cd that had come with a magazine i'd bought and at the time i'd never heard anything like it. i played it for a few people and they were just kind of "meh.") and some of this and that and the other. and then i'd spotted this album. the cover had caught my eye. i picked it up and started looking at it and she was all like "you can have that if you want it.i don't like it."

and that,kids,is how i met your mother.
now leave me be because the sleeptyime sauce is kicking in.
more?
you want more?

ok....
they're darker.
they're edgier.
they're heavier.
they're more socially conscious (if'n you're into that sort of thing).
the bass groove/tone is strong with this one.
you should look into some doug wimbish.
what more do you want?
favorite songs off of this one?
"go away" and "leave it alone" and "postman".

i should also tell you that i don't even know who your mother is.
i don't even know who you are.
i was just walking through your backyard and was thirsty and you didn't have a hose for me to drink out of so i just checked your backdoor and it was unlocked so i just came in and got a glass of whatever that was in the jug and sat down at the table. and then you showed up and looked as if you needed someone to talk to.
but now i've really got to be going.
but first....
can you tell me if this rag smells funny to you?

DL

faith no more - evidence

released: 1995
label: slash/london records

this is a faith no more import single from europe.
and that's that.

1 - evidence
2 - king for a day
3 - i wanna fuck myself*
4 - spanish eyes**
*=gg allin cover
**=freddy quinn cover

DL

big black - way hap ultimate rarities

this is a bootleg made up of supposed "ultimate rarities" in the form of demos and and songs released on various compilations and some of this and that and the other. there's also a few songs from a band that steve albini was in pre-big black that went by the name stations.

that's gotta be something,yeah?

"at least half of this stuff is just the normal, readily-available versions re-named as "demos" or taken from an alternate release though identical to the album versions. much of what is novel is also trivial. not worth it." -steve albini

it's always something with that guy.
geeeeeeeeeez.

DISC 1:
1 - spoken word intro (sub pop 100)
2 - bang zoom review
3 - big payback (rough mix)
4 - hunter safety (tommy bartlett dies in pain) (middle of america comp)
5 - il duce (il duce 7'')
6 - burning indian wife (happiness is dry pants)
7 - rema rema (rema rema 7'')
8 - my house (pig pile box set 5'')
9 - crack up (god's favorite dog comp)
10 - every man for himself (god's favorite dog comp)
11 - strange things
12 - texas (live) (code blue cassette)
13 - dead billy (live) (head over ears comp)
14 - r.i.p. (live) (il duce 12'')
15 - cables (live) (il duce 12'')
16 - pigeon kill (live) (il duce 12'')
17 - kerosene (live) (nothing short of total war comp)
18 - he's a whore (nothing short of total war comp)*
19 - run nigger run - pray i don't kill you faggot
20 - crazy about lemurs

DISC 2:
1 - stations - she's lost (demo)
2 - stations - people in church (demo)
3 - stations - meet me inside (demo)
4 - stations - kiss on the floor (demo)
5 - stations - seeds of corruption (demo)
6 - jump the climb (demo 82)
7 - i can be killed (demo 82)
8 - unknown (demo 82)
9 - live in a hole (demo 82)
10 - r.i.p. (demo 82)
11 - deep six (demo 82)
12 - sleep (demo 82)
13 - ugly american (demo 82)
14 - il duce (demo 82)
15 - the power of independent trucking (demo)
16 - the model (demo)**
17 - bad penny (demo)
18 - l dopa (demo)
19 - precious thing (demo)
20 - columbian necktie (demo)
21 - kitty empire (demo)
*=cheap trick cover
**=kraftwerk cover

DL

v/a - bacteria sour: vol. I and II

vol. 1 released: 1996
vol. 2 released: 1998
label: bacteria sour

in case you didn't already know....
bacteria sour was a label founded by pushead.
y'know.
the guy whose art was all over those skateboards you wanted back in the day.
and those metallica t-shirts.
yeah.
that guy.
so these are a pair of compilations made up of bands and songs you just might find yourself liking if you don't already.
it's one of those win/win situations.
i know that you're probably not used to such things happening to you but here it is.
just let it wash over you.
so good for you.
wait wait.
the clothing has to stay on.
apparently it's a law.
yeah.
i know.
this is a crazy time we live in.

VOL. 1:
1 - afi - fish bowl
2 - union - powerplant
3 - masskontroll - pain without end
4 - dropdead - what once was life
5 - cavity - big hit man
VOL. 2:
1 - in my eyes - built on trust
2 - stompede - hc not violence
3 - devoid of faith - given up
4 - roswell project - picking on the fat kid
5 - detestation - unheard cries
6 - oac - 1234 newport
7 - devoid of faith - thaw (cold world)+*
8 - integrity - change (karaoke version)+
9 - septic death - i hate my school+
10 - detestation - eye missing+
11 - cavity - demon (inside me)+*
12 - septic death - glue/step+
+=RECOVERY EP
*=septic death cover

DL

black flag - 7.22.79 - polliwog park - manhattan beach,ca

it's just some crazy youngins calling themselves blag flag doing what they do and almost cause a riot.
what more does on want?
i was supposed to go to this show but my mom apparently thought sticking a 4 year old on a plane alone was a bad idea.
pssssssssh.
parents.
know what i mean?

1 - i don't care
2 - white minority
3 - i've heard it before
4 - machine
5 - i've had it
6 - nervous breakdown
7 - spray paint
8 - jealous again
9 - police story
10 - (the crowd riots)
11 - wasted
12 - revenge
13 - fix me
14 - depression

DL

Eighteen Wheels Burning - Tweak'd Out, Strung Up & Redlined

Label: Meteor City
Year: 2008

More unrepentant rock n roll bluster, that shall go about starting your week with nary a repentance in sight. And what would you be repenting for anyway? Or more importantly, to whom are you repenting?
Just don't do it. Ride hard straight into the sunset leaving a wake of mayhem and jealousy as your signature.
This band isn't trying to impress you or your friends. In fact, I would wager to guess that they think you guys all party like a bunch of amateur sorority girls, with your fancy beers and novelty beards and glasses and hair cuts and bullshit. You and your boys aren't coming close to achieving your full potential. For example, it's Monday morning, and Eighteen Wheels Burning are about to START their weekend. What the fuck are you doing? Working? Lame, man. Super fucking lame. Holler at me when you're ready to get serious about getting serious.
Eighteen Wheels Burning is 2/3 of the woefully underrated The Want, and if you liked their Humble Pie boogie jams, then you'll like these too. Kicked up a bit more than The Want, they get into a swinging fuzz groove, not unlike Nebula. It's a proto-punk swagger welded onto a desert rock low ride.
Quit pussy-footing around and handle your fucking business.

*originally posted 10.19.15, reposted 05.13.19

DL

malformed earthborn - defiance of the ugly by the merely repulsive

released: 1995
label: release entertainment

the band takes its name from a skinny puppy song so that might give you a clue into what this is going to sound like.

"what's the name of that there song,son? maybe we don't know nothin' 'bout some skinny puppy."

it's "human disease (s.k.u.m.m.)" which is on the VIVIsect VI album.
you really need to study up on some skinny puppy,kids,if'n you haven't already.
speaking for myself: i'm not really much of a fan of anything past the THE PROCESS album.
but we're not here to talk about skinny puppy.

this was a project that involved members of:
napalm death (shane embury)
brutal truth (dan lilker)
exit-13 (scott lewis)

but it doesn't sound like any of those bands.
and if'n you don't know what those bands sound like....
well.
do the work.

so if you like some early skinny puppy and some godflesh and maybe some early swans and the sounds a belt sander makes when pushed against metal and the old school computer dial-up sounds and some of this and some of that and some of the other....

DL

death - leprosy deluxe edition disc 2

released: 2014
label: relapse records

this was the first album i'd heard that was heavier than slayer (which at the time was my idea of heavy).
and it was glorious.
and i played the shit out of it.
but i'd always seem to like the "left to die"/pull the plug" combo.
still do.
not that the rest of the album isn't just as good.

i'd borrowed my friend's cd and i'd listen to it when i was out in the garage trying skateboard tricks. i'd mastered this one trick called "the testical mutilator". perhaps you've heard of it. i was so good at it that it took my breath away every time. it was a stunner i tell you what.

but then the parents heard me listening to it and demanded that i tell them where i got this cd by this band called "death combat".
ah,parents.
combat was the label that had put the album out.
but i couldn't try to explain that to them.
i ended up getting my stereo taken away for a week.
the cd went back to my friend's mom.
i'm pretty sure that she didn't freak out about it.
who do you think made it possible for him to have it in the first place.
but i couldn't try to explain that to them.

anyway.....

i'm sure that all of you out there know who death is/were so i'm not going to continue on with the storytelling.
i know.
good deal,right?
yeah.

this is a disc that's made up of some rehearsals for the LEPROSY album.
thank relapse records,kids.

1 - open casket*
2 - choke on it*
3 - left to die*
4 - left to die (take 2)*
5 - left to die**
6 - open casket**
7 - pull the plug**
8 - choke on it**
9 - born dead**
10 - forgotten past**
*=9.23.87
**=12.5.87

DL

black sabbath - paranoid deluxe version disc 2

released: 2016
label: warner bros. records

"you can't trust anyone that doesn't like the first 6 black sabbath albums. are you gonna eat that?" -some guy

the PARANOID album was my first foray into the black sabbath arts. this was way back in the 5th grade. i was over at a friend's house and he'd been playing the tape on a boom box down in his garage while he was skating. i was just kind of standing off to the side watching him and the music he'd been playing caught my ear. it turned out to be "electric funeral". so of course i did what friends do and was all like "hey. let me borrow this.". he agreed and told me that i had to bring his copy of slayer's SHOW NO MERCY back when i returned it. this particular friend had turned me onto a whole slew of bands and my parents should've probably thanked him for it (sarcasm). they were curious as to where these sounds they started hearing through my bedroom walls were coming from (well. there were other noises but they made the parents feel uncomfortable so they were never really discussed.)

and now you're uncomfortable thinking about that.
you're welcome.

you should already be aware of black sabbath so i'm not going to go into a long-winded blah blah blah about them.

this is PARANOID getting re-released with some added deluxeness.
thank warner bros.,kids.

1 - war pigs (instrumental)
2 - paranoid (alt. lyrics version)
3 - planet caravan (alt. lyrics version)
4 - iron man (instrumental)
5 - electric funeral (instrumental)
6 - hand of doom (instrumental)
7 - rat salad (alt. mix)
8 - fairies wear boots (instrumental)

DL

faxed head - exhumed at birth

released: 1997
label: amarillo records

i'm just going to assume that some of you out there have taken some sort of a hallucinogen a time or two in your lives.

now think of all of those horrible things that you've seen.
the cheeseburger that kept vomiting barbecue sauce everywhere.
that toy you got out of the claw machine at the mall that you'd stripped out of all its clothing and gave prison tattoos with a permanent marker that tried to stab you.
that squirrel with the pig head that screams.
that thing that looked like the baby from ERASERHEAD but sounded like your dead grandmother.
the cotto salami with the tiny blinking eyes.
that spider that wanted to play strip 52 pick-up.
that man in your closet that was hanging in your t-shirt that had no legs.
those things from that aphex twin video.
your parents having sex.

now think of all of those things learning how to play instruments.
yeah.
good times.

also: one of the above mentioned situations actually happened. you're welcome.

DL

jane's addiction - been caught stealing

released: 1990
label: warner brothers

without RITUAL DE LO HABITUAL there could be no NEVERMIND.
that's right.
i said it.

"that album absolutely fuckin' smokes NEVERMIND." -bill burr
that's right.
bill burr said it.

1 - been caught stealing (12" remix version)
2 - been caught stealing (album version)
3 - had a dad (demo version)

DL

david bowie - outside

released: 1995
label: arista

i went to go and see david bowie while he was out on tour for this album. he brought along the bands prick and nine in nails. i took my then girlfriend. all of this took place in tinley park,il back in 1995 at the new world music theater (as it was known as back then)....

she and i were out lawn and these folks had positioned themselves next to us during prick's set. they were obviously there for nine inch nails because they seemed irritated that they had to put up with some band before their lord and savior,trent reznor,came out. THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL was still a fresh album. admittedly prick were just an ok band in my opinion. i'd given their SELF-TITLED album a few listens but nothing really stuck. they just sounded like a nine inch nails soundalike. they only played for about a half hour and then everything went dark. everyone knew what was coming. the 2 hot topic employees standing next to us sure did. i kept glancing over at them in hopes that some piercings would get snagged. but it sadly didn't happen. and then nine inch nails took the stage and everything went as expected. trent being angry. trent throwing things. trent screaming. it was just a good time. and towards the end of nine inch nails' set david bowie came out and did some of their songs with them....

and then it happened.

the 2 edgy kids standing next to us took a break from their writhings together to look towards the stage. they both had a shitty look on their faces. a look that said "what do you mean you ran out of big pants with too many chains on it that serve absolutely no purpose?! don't you know who i am?! i am hot topic employee!". and they're just looking. and then suddenly the boy's mouth opens and forms these words....

"who's the old faggot on the stage?"

who's.
the.
old.
faggot.
on.
the.
stage.

listen. i don't give a fuck who you are. you've heard at least one david bowie song. be it either "let's dance" or "space oddity" or "changes" or "modern love" or "the man who sold the world" or "china girl" or or or or....

you get the idea.
you've heard a fucking david bowie song.
just you shut your mouth.

so i "accidentally" kicked him in the leg.
he and his lady friend glared back at me.
i stared back at them.
they stood there for a few minutes and then gathered up their crap and wandered off.

and then it was david bowie's turn on stage.
the nine inch nails fellas came out and played a few songs with david bowie and his band.
i'm glad to have gotten to see him at least once before his death 21 years later.

that's a good story,grampa.
now back into the basement with you.
there's company coming over later.

DL

v/a - music from and inspired by john carpenter's escape from l.a.

released: 1996
label: atlantic

it's fair to say that the 90's had the best movie soundtracks. just look at the soundtracks for:
GUMMO
JUDGEMENT NIGHT
KIDS
LOST HIGHWAY
NATURAL BORN KILLERS
NOWHERE
S.F.W.
SPAWN
STRANGELAND
THE CROW I & II

i could go on and on.
and this here movie sountrack falls in with the rest of them (even though the movie wasn't exactly the greatest but you do get to see kurt russell surf an awesome cgi wave and then jump onto the back of a car. that's entertainment right there,kids.)

but you didn't come here to listen to me prattle on about the movie.
you want the musics.
and the musics is what you're gonna get.
but first....
who here would like to see snake plissken escape florida?
and he'd have to fight the infamous florida man which would come in the form of everything you'd ever heard bad about florida.
snake plissken against a gelataneous mass that smells like chewing tobacco and muscle rub.
maybe it would look like something from THE THING.
maybe that could be the basis for the movie.
he has to stop florida man before he escapes florida so it can't infect the rest of the world.
hmmmmmmmmmm.

1 - stabbing westward - dawn
2 - tool - sweat
3 - white zombie - the one
4 - toadies - cut me out
5 - butthole surfers - pottery
6 - sugar ray - 10 seconds down
7 - gravity kills - blame (l.a. remix)
8 - tori amos - professional widow
9 - ministry - paisley
10 - orange 9mm - fire in the hole
11 - clutch - escape from the prison planet
12 - civ - et tu brute?
13 - sexpod - foot on the gas
14 - deftones - can't even breathe

DL

atomsmasher - atomsmaher

released: 2001
label: double h noise industries

the best way that i could describe this is "a grindcore aphex twin".
sounds about right.
maybe an alternate universe version of discordance axis.
sounds about right.

this business is made up of 3 people:
james plotkin (of OldLadyDrivers/khanate fame)
dave witte (of discordance axis/human remains fame)
paul richard (aka dj speedranch)

listen.
if you're wanting a good way to annoy the neighbors or maybe clear a room or maybe find out who at the party is on hallucinogens....
this is the exact way to do that.
and there's a "song" on here called "pokemon gangbang".
oh yeah.

DL

g//z/r - plastic planet

released: 1995
label: tvt

i'm going to assume that most of you are familiar with the band fear factory,yeah? and if'n you are you know that the band decided to go into another direction after their first album (SOUL OF A NEW MACHINE),yeah. they dropped the death metally vocals and tone and went into a more industrial metal direction (ie: front line assembly/ministry). so if'n you dig all of that bidness you'll dig this bidness as well.

and yes.
before you go there i know they went into that direction because front line assembly member rhys fulber started producing and playing on their albums.
so there.

"but what's with the band's name? what does that even mean? i mean what kind of a name is guhzrrr? that's just dumb,bro."

that "g//z/r" is the name geezer with the vowels removed.
in this case it's geezer butler.
he played bass in a little band called black sabbath.
maybe you've heard of it?
he does the same thing here but is accompanied by fear factory's burton c. bell on vocals (and that's why i'd made the fear factory comparison up yonder if'n you hadn't put that together already. this was the only album he provided vocals for.) and guitarist named pedro howse (who went on to play on the band's next 2 albums. they only released 3) and drummer deen castronvo (who has played with the likes of ozzy osbourne and steve vai and journey (just to name a few). and don't worry. i know that you see the mentioning of journey and are probably thinking "awwwwwmaaaaaan!" but not to worry. he's solid. i promise. and besides. you know that "wheel in the sky" is a fucking solid jam so shut it. no. he doesn't play on the recorded version but he's done it live. fuck it! he's done it live!)

so yeah.
that's just about all you need to know about this album.
it's decent.
should you check out the other 2 albums?
yeah.
but BLACK SCIENCE is the better one.
ok then.
what're you still doing just sitting there?
go.
i have shit to do.
stuff to watch.
wigs that need brushing.
mannequins that need re-positioning.
fine.
use the front door.
yeah.
i know all about that thing in the alley.
i don't know what it is either.

DL

Surrogat - Unruhig

Label: Kitty-Yo
Year: 1995

Q: How deep were you into the mid-Nineties German noise rock scene?
A: Probably not balls deep, so you probably missed Surrogat, which is ok, you're forgiven. As everyone knows, in the mid-Nineties in Germany you were jocking Acme, and that was sort of understood. So, all apologies to Surrogat, who were quietly (at a high volume) churning out high quality heavy noise rock for close to a decade (although, in my defense, I'm STILL jocking Acme, and therefore cannot confirm that the recorded output of Surrogat maintained the noise rocking hallmarks so evident on this debut album. They could have taken a turn for the disco dancing...anything is possible).

DL 

child abuse - child abuse

released: 2007
label: lovepump united

all that you really need to know is that there's a song on this album called "wrong hole".
we've all been there,yeah.
good times.
so you're welcome.
thanks for stopping by.
it's always nice to see you.

you need more than the "wrong hole"?
you're so greedy.
you kids nowadays.
i just don't know what to do about you.
ok....

have you ever been spent time in your uncle's basement listening to him tell stories about the war that involved things like "if he didn't stay quiet he'd give away our location so i had to...." or "have you ever seen so much fire that you didn't know where it ended and you began?" or "to this day i can eat a hamburger without thinking of...."?

and then you'd study his facial expressions.
and then you'd study that look in his eyes.
and then you'd find yourself wondering "that look. what if it had a sound. what would it sound like? what. would. it. sound. like. i just...."
and then you keep thinking about that.
and then you keep thinking about that.
and then you keep thinking about that.
and then the blood starts to trickle out of your nose.
and then you realize that you've been clenching your teeth.
and then you realize that you've soiled yourself.
and then you look at your uncle's face and it isn't there.
you know that one scene from the movie JACOB'S LADDER?
you're already dead.....

and then there's silence.
the album you'd been listening to has ended.
you've been on your bed the entire time.
you've been wearing headphones.
this is what happens when you fall asleep listening to that mix cd that you'd only put daughters and lightning bolt and the flying luttenbachers on after having visited your uncle and eating anything out of that box he keeps on the table in the basement.
and then you realize that you've actually soiled yourself.

DL

scrawl - travel on,rider

released: 1996
label: elektra

who here remembers that thing called LILITH FAIR?
anyone?
in the back?
good.

truth be told: when i'd first heard of the LILITH FAIR i got a little stoked because it was about time that she was finally getting some recognition. and it was going to be an all day shindig. fuck yeah. i was friggin' stoked. she'd always been my favorite part of the show (well shows actually). she was just so cold and calcuating and smart and sexy and i just didn't know what she'd ever seen in dr. frasier crane.

but then it turned out that this LILITH FAIR thing wasn't anything about that.
it was all about some female empowerment and whatnot.
but i still found myself wanting to go and see what it was all about.
i could fill out a training bra pretty nicely and i had armpit hair.
i'd totally fit in and no one would've been none the wiser.
but then i'd thought back to the time that a friend of mine and i had talked about going to see ani defranco and we'd jokingly say that we'd just end up getting beat up in the parking lot....

so it was just a no go.
who needs that?
and truth be told: i'd only found some of the musicians playing somewhat listenable and about 95% time it would've probably been spent just me walking around and saying things like "so? vaginas,huh?".
yeah.

and now for the reason we're here: scrawl.
if'n they'd played LILITH FAIR they probably would've been placed on the second stage right before juliana hatfield and after k's choice.
so maybe perhaps that'll help in your decision making about this here album.
they have a cowbell being played in the song "louis l'amour" if you happen to be sick and the only thing prescribed to you was some more cowbell.

but if'n you're needing me to mention some band names just to make you feel comfortable with all of this: blake babies/th' faith healers/sleater-kinney/belly/helium

are you good now?
well it's about gotdang time.
geeeeeeez.

DL

Neanderthal - Complete Fighting Music

Label: bootleg
Year: 1996

Are you fans of high comedy? Yes? Then you undoubtedly remember the hilarious recurring bit from Southern-American wholesome comic Jeff Foxworthy, "you might be a redneck, if...". Mr. Foxworthy would posit that your lifestyle may share similar traits to a person with a redneck lifestyle, if, you did one of the many rib-tickling, but "funny-cause-it's-true" anecdotes. For example, "If you pack for a trip in a styrofoam cooler, you might be a redneck".
So in the spirit of your grandfather's favorite comedy trope, I bring you, "You might be a powerviolence band".

When you can fight your entire discography on a single 7", you might be a powerviolence band.
When your band is 1/2 Man Is The Bastard, and 1/2 Infest (with some occasional extra Infest), you might be a powerviolence band.
When the center label of your ep is a split penis, you might be a powerviolence band.

This record is the band's initial 6 song 7" (Fighting Music), and the two songs from their split with Rorschach (Dear Jesus #38). And that's it. Eight songs, and the coining of the term "powerviolence". Done.
Slap-A-Ham did a "sorta release" of this in 2000 (not exactly official), and Long Live Tape Distortion did a 12" release in 2015, but this is the bootleg 7" version. For the record.
Essential.

DL

Cop Shoot Cop - Consumer Revolt

Label: Circuit
Year: 1990

The first full length from Cop Shoot Cop (preceded by a couple eps), the NYC institution who bridged the gap between industrial pounding and No Wave weirdness on the back of a rabid sewer rat. Oddly swaggering with a confidence that belies it's claustrophobic skree, but doused in black humor to balance the noise onslaught.
Pretty perfect, this one.

DL

v/a - speed trials

released: 1989
label: homestead records

gather 'round,children. i'm going to tell you about what a compilation is. are you ready? you better be. a compilation is something that a record company puts out in order to either promote a band or an event. in this case it was an event that took place at a place called the white columns gallery located in new york city back in may of 1983. some of you probably weren't even born yet. goodness. and this was some of the bands that performed at this shindig. everything on this here compilation is live. the end. now get. the sleepytime pills are starting to do what they get paid to do.

1 - the fall - tempo house
2 - the fall - smile
3 - beastie boys - egg raid on mojo
4 - live skull - i was wrong
5 - sonic youth - dig this!*
6 - lydia lunch - main kelly and me on a bender
7 - carbon - ytykyd
8 - swans - weakling
9 - toy killers - victimless crime

*=a collage of 5 different songs: she's in a bad mood/confusion is next/shaking hell/the world looks red/the burning spear

DL

beastie boys - def before dishonor

released: 1989
label: unoffical release

happy 7th,death of adam yauch (aka MCA)

DL

v/a - grind crusher

label: earache
released: 1989

for those that it matters to: this is the cd version of the compilation.
that means there are some things missing.
there are 10 things missing to be exact.
and i'm not going to tell you which 10 things are missing.
am i being an asshole?
i don't think so.
i'm just trying to get you to flex your head (see what i did there? probably not.) and to go out and discover things for yourselves.
i do it because i care.
yeah.
do i want to go out and throw the ball around?
can't.
things to do.
and besides it's time that you learn about the joys of being solitary.
so much for you to learn,kid.
now get out there and do it,you little scamp!
and stay out of the shed in the backyard!

1 - morbid angel - chapel of ghouls
2 - repulsion - radiation sickness
3 - carcass - exhume to consume
4 - godflesh - streetcleaner
5 - napalm death - the missing link
6 - terrorizer - dead shall rise
7 - bolt thrower - through the eyes of terror
8 - intense degree - straight jacket/i've got a cure
9 - filthy christians - party & fight for your right
10 - old lady drivers - colostomy grab-bag
11 - unseen terror - divisions
12 - spazztic blur - he not-a-home
13 - heresy - dead
14 - sore throat - horrendify and kill

DL

ifihadahifi - we're never going home

released: 2019
label: self-released

that isn't going to be the album's actual cover.
or is it?
hmmmmmmmm.
just think about it....
if'n there were couches everywhere you'd never really have to go home.
eh.
eh.

moving on....

this here slab was dropped onto our porch the other day. so rather than just stepping over it and then eventually having a full grown album out there with a beard and everything and then having to be "oh. hey. didn't see you there. you're old enough now to get out of that basket you've crushed and walk your happy ass off of this porch. waitaminute. where do you think you're going? pick that shit up and take it with you. you're a grown ass album. start asting like one." because that always just ends up being awkward in the end. i picked it up and brought it inside. it had a pleasant smell. and it kept looking up at me with its one good eye.

so here we have some IfIHadAHiFi from milwaukee,wi.
yeah.
just like lenny and squiggy.
they've been friends of SGM for awhile now.
we've said some nice things about them because they deserve to have nice things said about them....even though they describe themselves as ""bitter,pissy assholes who play loud,unlistenable cacophony with a dance beat".
we're ok with that.
and you'd better be ok with that as well.

what these fellas bring to the table musically is something that would find itself on a playdate with brainiac and les savy fav and fugazi and nirvana and sonic youth.

there was a note in the basket stating that we should only post a small taste of the album and that the entire thing would be waiting for you over at their bandcamp page this coming tuesday (that would be on the 7th) and the album's release party will be taking place on the 19th at the high dive located in milwaukee,wi. and there'll be plenty of merch there for you to buy. maybe lenny and squiggy will be there. you're just going to have to go and find out for yourself. could be fun.

well ok.
that's just about wraps everything up here.
you can go now.
go on.
i need to do some stuff and i'm not leaving you here alone.
i learned my lesson last time.
i watched the security camera footage and all i'm going to say is that if you're not able to fit into a pair of leather pants just don't try.
you just squeeze and exert yourself and then things happen and then i have to buy new carpet.
what's that?
you have to leave?
you have somewhere you have to be?
awwwww.
that's too bad.

a taste of we're never going home