slint - 10.27.90 - wrocklodge - louisville,ky

to paraphrase some guy: "slint are the doom fugazi."

actually.
it's not just some guy.
the guy has a name.
and that name is: chris.
his parents probably gave it to him.
and he's been in bands.
bands that can be found scattered all over the place.
crank sinatra.
milquelizard.
uncle touchy.
genki genki panic.
waffle house bathrooms.

i wasn't going to bring any of that up at first because i didn't want to make you feel bad for not knowing folks in bands.
but if i hadn't you would've just been all like "some guy? you don't know some guy! you've been saying that you know some guy for years now! just because you run into some guy in a public restroom doesn't mean you actually know him! psssssssssssssh!"

you're right.
i'm not even really all that sure that chris actually exists.
i've looked in all of the usual places:
the bushes
the wall at the post office
in the shadows of any adult bookstore anywhere
that box where the gimp lives
right behind me
rip taylor look-alike contests
the supposed private suite at any free clinic in the world

but i did talk to him on the phone a few years back.
he was backstage at a iwrestledabearonce show.
no.
really.
it's an actual band.
and he put me on the phone with their then lead singer.
her name was krysta.
i talked to her for a mere 30 seconds before she handed the phone back to him with a confused look on her face.
that's what i do.
it's my thing.
i make people feel awkward and confused.
and speaking of iwrestledabearonce....
chris himself appears in the video for their song "you ain't no family."
he's the one that looks like a mechanic.
no.
not that one.
the other one.
so yeah.
now you know that i know people in bands.
and i know that guy.
and you also know that i watch videos.
so you can take that trash talk right on out of here.
take the scenic route through the kitchen as i require a pudding cup.
now go on!
get!

1 - snoopy
2 - for dinner/darlene
3 - nosferatu man
4 - rhoda
5 - glenn
6 - breadcrumb trail
7 - good morning,captain

also: before you get all into this and you get into that "good morning,captain" groove and you're wating for that moment to happen (you know the one) you should know that it's not there. it just stops. maybe the person recording the show had to be somewhere. maybe their mom was waiting for them outside and they knew what would happen if they weren't back at the car on time. they didn't want to have to clean out the garage again or clean out the gutters again or clean out the gutters on the garage again. i'm not making excuses for the person. just cut them some slack,man.

DL