Thursday, March 7, 2013

fIREHOSE - If'n


Label: SST
Year: 1987

I've said it before, you've argued with me about it, but I don't care and neither should you. fIREHOSE (I'm sick of spelling it "right") are/were the superior band to the Minutemen. Sorry. Minutemen came first (that's what she said), and were contemporaries of all these great bands and everything, and had the whole philosophy, and fought the good fight and shit, yes, I get it. They even have a ton of great songs, really great songs. I get that too. But, they also have a ton of shit songs (they had a ton of songs), and they're insistence on being contrarian to the hardcore scene while simultaneously trafficking their wares in that very scene was...annoying.
With all due respect to the Minutemen, and what they accomplished, and, blah, blah, blah, can we all just agree that fIREHOSE finally harnessed Mike Watt's ADHD into pop perfection with just enough bite to make it perfect. Well, the first three albums anyway. I can honestly say that I never have heard the albums after fROMOHIO, and kinda never want to, as I assume they are terrible, based on the fact that girls in my high school all of the sudden started going to see fIREHOSE, and wearing their shirts. That was enough, I was out. Bring on Gorilla Biscuits, this fIREHOSE shit is played out.
But prior to that tectonic shift in what was allowed to be acceptable in my stunted ego...I fucking listened to the shit outta those fIREHOSE records. Remember when the Ohio Skateout video was an all SST soundtrack, and Neil Blender skated to "Brave Captain"? Fucking Neil Blender was competitive in a STREET contest! Damn, skating was so much cooler when a guy like that who had no business bean planting his way across the Dayton Arena, actually bean planted his way around the Dayton. And the whole goddamn Alva team was there too! Those dudes should have HATED competition, but there they were, with their haircuts and their leather jackets, and their sneers. There they were.
And here I am.

DL 

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

fH better than MM? That is fucking insane, man. I can't think of one fH song that comes close to being as good as even the worst MM song.

Doesn't Mock Duck have a new e.p. out? You should post that shit. ;)

Wain said...

Man you're right!Just like Grant Harts solo albums are better than Husker Du and Gong is better than Black Flag!

James Joyce said...

Firehose worked better in skate videos - especially Streets On Fire with Natas' parts (Brave Captain, Windmilling), Klaus Grabke (Sometimes, Hear Me). Minutemen songs were too spastic for skate footage, so skaters seem to gravitate towards Firehose while punkers think Ed Crawford had a faggy voice.

Nacho said...

mike watt, best bass player in the world

Anonymous said...

so let me get this staight. the OP gave up on fHose after fROMOHIO because girls at his school wore the wrong tee shirts and so thereafter they weren't worth listening to in favor of Gorilla Bisquits? GB are good but, geez even the Mr Machinery Operator record is great. Chemical Wire.

Analog Loyalist said...

I fucking love fIREHOSE.

Let me share with you a story.

It was 1990. Watt/Crawford/Hurley were making one of their many stops in Chicago to play the Cabaret Metro. I was a dumb high school kid, thrilled to see one of my favorite bands.

Watt broke 6 fucking strings in an hour. SIX BASS STRINGS!

Oh the stories he told, as he'd restring. Too bad I don't remember any of them, but they were great.

Anyway, I digress.

So the gig ends, I'm thrush with joy and stream past the merch booth with everyone else. SHIT! Them Pedro dudes didn't have shit for sale! I wanted the T-shirt, dammit.

I walk outside and see the van parked in front. It's quite obviously the trio's van. Parked right in the damn front of the venue. And nobody notices but me.

Watt eventually comes out to load his thunderstick into the back. Like a high school dork, I'm just thrilled to be there talking with a true hero. And I wanted a damn shirt.

I asked Watt if they ran out of shirts. He said they didn't have any. As he was saying this, he was opening the back doors of the van.

There on the floor, splayed out from a couple boxes, are a pile of red fIREHOSE T-shirts.

Watt said, and I quote, "Oh."

He sizes me up, reaches in the box and grabs a couple shirts. "Here, kid. Thanks for coming and stay cool!"

DId I say how much I loved fIREHOSE?

-Analog Loyalist

Daniel said...

Yes yes, skate and destroy. Skate videos introduced me to quite a many sst band. Thanks for this.

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