Thursday, March 5, 2009

V/A - Skate Rock vol. 3 - Wild Riders Of Boards

Label: High Speed Productions
Year: 1985

Is it racist to say that hip hop ruined skateboarding? I mean, honestly, wasn't skating a whole lot more fun when it was all about punk rock and Ted Nugent? I think so. Shit, somewhere in the early 90s this new guard of street skating with it's big ass rave pants, mustard colors, tiny wheels, flips, and....yes...hip hop was ushered in, and skating got all hard and shit. No longer could I boneless my way down to the jump ramp session in my Jimmy'z pants and painter's cap. Oh no, now I had to cut my high tops down and duct tape the shit out of them, invest in the most denim possible to hang off my lower half, cut my mcsqueeb and get a crewcut, and trade in my Skull Skates for an H-Street. Dude! Those new tricks were fucking hard, and let's not even mention the thought of hurling myself down all those flights of stairs. What the fuck is going on here?! What, wall rides aren't cool anymore? Are people seriously ollieing over picnic tables?! Fuck this, I'm out. No longer could I pretend to progress at skateboarding. Done. I have cryogenically frozen my skateboard prowess somewhere in August of 1990, never to be advanced or challenged again. 
Thanks a lot hip hop, you asshole, you ruined skateboarding for me, and I can only assume for the rest of the known universe (that apparently exists beyond the realm of my ego) as well. I hope you're happy (please shake your fists at the heavens while reading this last line).
John're my only hope! 
The bands:
Boneless Ones
Christ On Parade
Septic Death
No Rules
Beyond Possession
Corrosion Of Conformity
Gang Green


julius orange said...

yes! this is awesome. i dont know if hip hop ruined skating but skull skates rules and john lucero rules!

cdb said...

Didn't you see The Donger skating down your street when you lived in California?

Pinky Royale said...

Where the fuck IS Animal Chin?!
I gotta be fair and say that big air was in until that cursed tiny-wheeled, giant pants thing. My friends were ollieing (have to check the OED on that one) over picnic benches. Really, when was the last time someone busted a Madonna Air? Where did the Drunk Injuns go?!

julius orange said...

just saw the drunk injuns last year at a special show with los olvidados and clay wheels in SF. fucking aweosme.

RC said...

now if i could just find the Zorlac give away record by Bark Hard I could die a happy man...

greg higgins said...

you nailed it.

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