[shiny grey monotone]

we here at the shiny grey monotone would like to welcome our new neighbor

ladies and gentleman...we present you...colostomy grab-bag

and he'd like to show you some of his wares...both tupper and others

but we should warn you...when he brings out the mcfeely...well...that's truly when the party starts

and we know what you're thinking: how can you warn us about a party?...aren't parties supposed to be fun and exciting?...a thing filled with pinatas and beverages and snacks and smiles from ear to ear?

well...you can choose to live behind that cloak of denial...or you can just accept the fact that before this party is over...you'll come to on the floor of a room covered in plastic with a poster of a unicorn on the wall...and instead of not knowing why that bucket of crisco is hanging in the corner...be fully aware that it was there to only assist...assist in what you may be asking yourself...well...seeing as how you've already signed that non-disclosure agreement...we can go no further

and don't forget to bring the kids...there's a petting zoo...the irony being that we're not allowed within 100 feet of one...what to do what to do?

so...please join us in welcoming our special neighbor...he'll fill you with so much metal...you know that you'll never make it past airport security

there's robotussin and m&ms in the back...enjoy

there's a difference between "waking up" and "coming to"