g//z/r - plastic planet

released: 1995
label: tvt

i'm going to assume that most of you are familiar with the band fear factory,yeah? and if'n you are you know that the band decided to go into another direction after their first album (SOUL OF A NEW MACHINE),yeah. they dropped the death metally vocals and tone and went into a more industrial metal direction (ie: front line assembly/ministry). so if'n you dig all of that bidness you'll dig this bidness as well.

and yes.
before you go there i know they went into that direction because front line assembly member rhys fulber started producing and playing on their albums.
so there.

"but what's with the band's name? what does that even mean? i mean what kind of a name is guhzrrr? that's just dumb,bro."

that "g//z/r" is the name geezer with the vowels removed.
in this case it's geezer butler.
he played bass in a little band called black sabbath.
maybe you've heard of it?
he does the same thing here but is accompanied by fear factory's burton c. bell on vocals (and that's why i'd made the fear factory comparison up yonder if'n you hadn't put that together already. this was the only album he provided vocals for.) and guitarist named pedro howse (who went on to play on the band's next 2 albums. they only released 3) and drummer deen castronvo (who has played with the likes of ozzy osbourne and steve vai and journey (just to name a few). and don't worry. i know that you see the mentioning of journey and are probably thinking "awwwwwmaaaaaan!" but not to worry. he's solid. i promise. and besides. you know that "wheel in the sky" is a fucking solid jam so shut it. no. he doesn't play on the recorded version but he's done it live. fuck it! he's done it live!)

so yeah.
that's just about all you need to know about this album.
it's decent.
should you check out the other 2 albums?
yeah.
but BLACK SCIENCE is the better one.
ok then.
what're you still doing just sitting there?
go.
i have shit to do.
stuff to watch.
wigs that need brushing.
mannequins that need re-positioning.
fine.
use the front door.
yeah.
i know all about that thing in the alley.
i don't know what it is either.

DL

Surrogat - Unruhig

Label: Kitty-Yo
Year: 1995

Q: How deep were you into the mid-Nineties German noise rock scene?
A: Probably not balls deep, so you probably missed Surrogat, which is ok, you're forgiven. As everyone knows, in the mid-Nineties in Germany you were jocking Acme, and that was sort of understood. So, all apologies to Surrogat, who were quietly (at a high volume) churning out high quality heavy noise rock for close to a decade (although, in my defense, I'm STILL jocking Acme, and therefore cannot confirm that the recorded output of Surrogat maintained the noise rocking hallmarks so evident on this debut album. They could have taken a turn for the disco dancing...anything is possible).

DL 

child abuse - child abuse

released: 2007
label: lovepump united

all that you really need to know is that there's a song on this album called "wrong hole".
we've all been there,yeah.
good times.
so you're welcome.
thanks for stopping by.
it's always nice to see you.

you need more than the "wrong hole"?
you're so greedy.
you kids nowadays.
i just don't know what to do about you.
ok....

have you ever been spent time in your uncle's basement listening to him tell stories about the war that involved things like "if he didn't stay quiet he'd give away our location so i had to...." or "have you ever seen so much fire that you didn't know where it ended and you began?" or "to this day i can eat a hamburger without thinking of...."?

and then you'd study his facial expressions.
and then you'd study that look in his eyes.
and then you'd find yourself wondering "that look. what if it had a sound. what would it sound like? what. would. it. sound. like. i just...."
and then you keep thinking about that.
and then you keep thinking about that.
and then you keep thinking about that.
and then the blood starts to trickle out of your nose.
and then you realize that you've been clenching your teeth.
and then you realize that you've soiled yourself.
and then you look at your uncle's face and it isn't there.
you know that one scene from the movie JACOB'S LADDER?
you're already dead.....

and then there's silence.
the album you'd been listening to has ended.
you've been on your bed the entire time.
you've been wearing headphones.
this is what happens when you fall asleep listening to that mix cd that you'd only put daughters and lightning bolt and the flying luttenbachers on after having visited your uncle and eating anything out of that box he keeps on the table in the basement.
and then you realize that you've actually soiled yourself.

DL

scrawl - travel on,rider

released: 1996
label: elektra

who here remembers that thing called LILITH FAIR?
anyone?
in the back?
good.

truth be told: when i'd first heard of the LILITH FAIR i got a little stoked because it was about time that she was finally getting some recognition. and it was going to be an all day shindig. fuck yeah. i was friggin' stoked. she'd always been my favorite part of the show (well shows actually). she was just so cold and calcuating and smart and sexy and i just didn't know what she'd ever seen in dr. frasier crane.

but then it turned out that this LILITH FAIR thing wasn't anything about that.
it was all about some female empowerment and whatnot.
but i still found myself wanting to go and see what it was all about.
i could fill out a training bra pretty nicely and i had armpit hair.
i'd totally fit in and no one would've been none the wiser.
but then i'd thought back to the time that a friend of mine and i had talked about going to see ani defranco and we'd jokingly say that we'd just end up getting beat up in the parking lot....

so it was just a no go.
who needs that?
and truth be told: i'd only found some of the musicians playing somewhat listenable and about 95% time it would've probably been spent just me walking around and saying things like "so? vaginas,huh?".
yeah.

and now for the reason we're here: scrawl.
if'n they'd played LILITH FAIR they probably would've been placed on the second stage right before juliana hatfield and after k's choice.
so maybe perhaps that'll help in your decision making about this here album.
they have a cowbell being played in the song "louis l'amour" if you happen to be sick and the only thing prescribed to you was some more cowbell.

but if'n you're needing me to mention some band names just to make you feel comfortable with all of this: blake babies/th' faith healers/sleater-kinney/belly/helium

are you good now?
well it's about gotdang time.
geeeeeeez.

DL

Neanderthal - Complete Fighting Music

Label: bootleg
Year: 1996

Are you fans of high comedy? Yes? Then you undoubtedly remember the hilarious recurring bit from Southern-American wholesome comic Jeff Foxworthy, "you might be a redneck, if...". Mr. Foxworthy would posit that your lifestyle may share similar traits to a person with a redneck lifestyle, if, you did one of the many rib-tickling, but "funny-cause-it's-true" anecdotes. For example, "If you pack for a trip in a styrofoam cooler, you might be a redneck".
So in the spirit of your grandfather's favorite comedy trope, I bring you, "You might be a powerviolence band".

When you can fight your entire discography on a single 7", you might be a powerviolence band.
When your band is 1/2 Man Is The Bastard, and 1/2 Infest (with some occasional extra Infest), you might be a powerviolence band.
When the center label of your ep is a split penis, you might be a powerviolence band.

This record is the band's initial 6 song 7" (Fighting Music), and the two songs from their split with Rorschach (Dear Jesus #38). And that's it. Eight songs, and the coining of the term "powerviolence". Done.
Slap-A-Ham did a "sorta release" of this in 2000 (not exactly official), and Long Live Tape Distortion did a 12" release in 2015, but this is the bootleg 7" version. For the record.
Essential.

DL

Cop Shoot Cop - Consumer Revolt

Label: Circuit
Year: 1990

The first full length from Cop Shoot Cop (preceded by a couple eps), the NYC institution who bridged the gap between industrial pounding and No Wave weirdness on the back of a rabid sewer rat. Oddly swaggering with a confidence that belies it's claustrophobic skree, but doused in black humor to balance the noise onslaught.
Pretty perfect, this one.

DL

v/a - speed trials

released: 1989
label: homestead records

gather 'round,children. i'm going to tell you about what a compilation is. are you ready? you better be. a compilation is something that a record company puts out in order to either promote a band or an event. in this case it was an event that took place at a place called the white columns gallery located in new york city back in may of 1983. some of you probably weren't even born yet. goodness. and this was some of the bands that performed at this shindig. everything on this here compilation is live. the end. now get. the sleepytime pills are starting to do what they get paid to do.

1 - the fall - tempo house
2 - the fall - smile
3 - beastie boys - egg raid on mojo
4 - live skull - i was wrong
5 - sonic youth - dig this!*
6 - lydia lunch - main kelly and me on a bender
7 - carbon - ytykyd
8 - swans - weakling
9 - toy killers - victimless crime

*=a collage of 5 different songs: she's in a bad mood/confusion is next/shaking hell/the world looks red/the burning spear

DL

beastie boys - def before dishonor

released: 1989
label: unoffical release

happy 7th,death of adam yauch (aka MCA)

DL

v/a - grind crusher

label: earache
released: 1989

for those that it matters to: this is the cd version of the compilation.
that means there are some things missing.
there are 10 things missing to be exact.
and i'm not going to tell you which 10 things are missing.
am i being an asshole?
i don't think so.
i'm just trying to get you to flex your head (see what i did there? probably not.) and to go out and discover things for yourselves.
i do it because i care.
yeah.
do i want to go out and throw the ball around?
can't.
things to do.
and besides it's time that you learn about the joys of being solitary.
so much for you to learn,kid.
now get out there and do it,you little scamp!
and stay out of the shed in the backyard!

1 - morbid angel - chapel of ghouls
2 - repulsion - radiation sickness
3 - carcass - exhume to consume
4 - godflesh - streetcleaner
5 - napalm death - the missing link
6 - terrorizer - dead shall rise
7 - bolt thrower - through the eyes of terror
8 - intense degree - straight jacket/i've got a cure
9 - filthy christians - party & fight for your right
10 - old lady drivers - colostomy grab-bag
11 - unseen terror - divisions
12 - spazztic blur - he not-a-home
13 - heresy - dead
14 - sore throat - horrendify and kill

DL

ifihadahifi - we're never going home

released: 2019
label: self-released

that isn't going to be the album's actual cover.
or is it?
hmmmmmmmm.
just think about it....
if'n there were couches everywhere you'd never really have to go home.
eh.
eh.

moving on....

this here slab was dropped onto our porch the other day. so rather than just stepping over it and then eventually having a full grown album out there with a beard and everything and then having to be "oh. hey. didn't see you there. you're old enough now to get out of that basket you've crushed and walk your happy ass off of this porch. waitaminute. where do you think you're going? pick that shit up and take it with you. you're a grown ass album. start asting like one." because that always just ends up being awkward in the end. i picked it up and brought it inside. it had a pleasant smell. and it kept looking up at me with its one good eye.

so here we have some IfIHadAHiFi from milwaukee,wi.
yeah.
just like lenny and squiggy.
they've been friends of SGM for awhile now.
we've said some nice things about them because they deserve to have nice things said about them....even though they describe themselves as ""bitter,pissy assholes who play loud,unlistenable cacophony with a dance beat".
we're ok with that.
and you'd better be ok with that as well.

what these fellas bring to the table musically is something that would find itself on a playdate with brainiac and les savy fav and fugazi and nirvana and sonic youth.

there was a note in the basket stating that we should only post a small taste of the album and that the entire thing would be waiting for you over at their bandcamp page this coming tuesday (that would be on the 7th) and the album's release party will be taking place on the 19th at the high dive located in milwaukee,wi. and there'll be plenty of merch there for you to buy. maybe lenny and squiggy will be there. you're just going to have to go and find out for yourself. could be fun.

well ok.
that's just about wraps everything up here.
you can go now.
go on.
i need to do some stuff and i'm not leaving you here alone.
i learned my lesson last time.
i watched the security camera footage and all i'm going to say is that if you're not able to fit into a pair of leather pants just don't try.
you just squeeze and exert yourself and then things happen and then i have to buy new carpet.
what's that?
you have to leave?
you have somewhere you have to be?
awwwww.
that's too bad.

a taste of we're never going home