crank sanatra - 2005 demo

label: self released
released: 2005

milquelizard
uncle touchy
genki genki panic

you know the names.
they all have something in common.
and that thing is [redacted].
we here at the SGM aren't allowed to talk about it.
there are black vans involved.
and these vans always seem to have the theme song to UNSOLVED MYSTERIES coming from the inside.
so yeah.
but what i can tell you is that the link comes in the form of a person.
no.
no literally.
maybe literally?
it doesn't matter.
what this person does in private is that person's business.
i know.
but this person always somehow finds the camera and covers it up.
the first time this person appeared to us at the SGM offices he was wearing a lucha libre mask and a cape and a neon pink thong.
when asked for an autograph he left behind 3 words: narcissitic ritualistic sexorcism
he then asked to use the bathroom.
and that's the last we'd seen of him.
we sometimes leave a bottle of strawberry kiwi mad dog 20/20 and a bag of flamin' hot funyuns under a large box being held up by a stick that has a rope attached to it in hopes of trapping this person but this person always manages to not trip the trap.
the mad dog 20/20 and flamin' hot funyuns fund is running low and we need your help.
yeah.
that's why i'm standing here with you in the stall.
i just don't take the time out of my day to just randomly stand in bathroom stalls.
well.
not anymore.
want a cookie?
yeah.
i'm sure you do.


DL