Monday, April 27, 2009
don't fall asleep or we'll mutilate your genitals
ok...now that i have your attention...
i'd like to take this opportunity to extend a warm SGM welcome to a one The DL
thus far he's been the only one to pick up the phone when we called (and we knew he was the right guy...i mean...who else could put up with gallagher calling your house every 2 minutes for 6 hours screaming "IS IT SAFE?" and then busting a watermelon with his forehead?...and if this doesn't work out mr. The DL....well...you'll be reimbursing us the cost for a one gallagher and multiple watermelons)
and thus far...he's been showing some us some good stuff (and by "good stuff" i don't mean the neon red speedo that he's been wearing around the office...though i do have to make a suggestion...perhaps you should try wearing one that's a little form fitting...it's not polite to point...or so my gramma would tell me...though she was always pointing at the floor)
and it's been brought to my attention not so subtly (come on now...waking up next to a tranny fellas?...now normally i'd totally appreciate this...but it was the same night i always order out for chinese...and you know he's still slightly uncomfortable about things...so i had to take the rest of the night to explain to him that the person out on my couch wasn't a chameleon)...and i'll admit that i get all hopped up on stuff i find in bottles in my basement from time to time and i just get all nuts and go through blog formats and end up on random lawns around the neighborhood wearing assless chaps and a sleeveless slayer tshirt cuddling with a yardgnome...but i'm working on it...and the city now has an ordinance out against me (something like a leash law)
so...if you take anything away from this...it should be this: we have a new guy...i'm gonna change the layout one more time and leave it...and you should probably put up an electric fence around your yard
(and as you can probably see...i've changed the layout...out with the old and in with the old...and i've moved the pong to the bottom of the page...so hopefully this is more pleasing to the eye and other appendages...if it isn't...well...i'm sure that i'll wake up to something new in my bed)
and now if you look over to the right...you'll see a little box...and inside this box...for those that wish to...can reach out and touch us here at SGM...and i'd recommend that you keep some wetnaps within arms length the whole time (or you could just borrow some of ours...though they are slightly used...they're still totally usable...i mean...never turn down some free wetnaps)...so yeah...go on over and say stuff...it's just words...right?....what could that hurt?