seam - headsparks

label: homestead records
released: 1992

once upon a time there was a band called bitch magnet.
you can find mentions of them hither and thither about SGMland.
they were a good band.
steve albini liked them.
does he still?
i don't know.
the next time i run into him whilst in the SGM bathroom i'll ask.
but maybe not.
i'm not really all that sure it's actually steve albini.
he's the guy that stands next to the sink and offers you a towel after having washed your hands and an andes mint or 2 from a pocket in his coveralls and recommends that he sprays various scents on you from a collection of bottles taken out of a suitcase at his feet.
he wears the same type of glasses.
he has the same "i fucking dare you to tell me that i need to eat a sandwich" look on his face.
no one really knows who he is.
he just kinda showed up one day.
i don't know.
maybe the next time i'm in there i could do that cough and say something at the same time thing.
"coughstevealbinicough."

but i digress....

bitch magnet.
released a few albums and whatnot.
and then they split.
they have links to bands with names like: bastro and codeine and slint and superchunk.
and then there's this band.
they have links to bands with the same names.
after bitch magnet split up the band's vocalist/bassist (sooyoung park...who plays guitar here) and superchunk's vocalist/guitarist (mac mccaughan...who plays drums on this album) snagged up a bass player named lexi mitchell and thus was born seam.
though the line-up on this album weren't together for very long.

so yeah.
if you know who they are already you already dig them.
if you're aware of any of the bands mentioned up yonder you'll dig this as well.

and if'n you're into all of that "such and such featuring...." business....
velocity girl vocalist sarah shannon shows up for a song. ("shame")
erectus monotone bassist jennifer walker provides back-up vocals for a song. ("new year's")

yeah.

DL

Scissorfight - Piscataqua

Label: Tortuga
Year: 2000

Bad vibe boogie for dudes who have either; a wood shed, a snowmobile, or are currently banned from at least one of their local bars. The kind of music that should come with a bowie knife...or a spitoon. Dirty, mean, and nasty.
Put it this way, on this seven song ep, four of the songs have the word "fuck" in the title.
But also consider that three of those profanity riddled titles are covers (Dwarves, Dead Kennedys, and GG Allin [naturally]). And for good measure there are also Aerosmith and Nervous Eaters covers...in case you're on the fence.
If you like your Nashville Pussy with a sludgy swing to it, then this one will be a big hit at your next (above ground) pool party.

DL

buzzov*en - 8.8.98 - fireside bowl - chicago,il

i'm a native illinois-ian.
i'd had friends that had been to numerous shows at the fireside bowl.
i'd been offered to be taken along to some of those shows.
i lived about an hour and a half away.
but no.
not me.
i waited until i was living 706 miles away.

lame?
probably.

the year was 2004.
i'd returned to illinois to visit a friend of mine.
i was living in south dakota at the time.
i'd went to go and see the following bands:
(in order of appearance)
american heritage
yakuza
burnt by the sun

and in case you're interested....
i'd also made a trip to the bottom lounge to see:
(in order of appearance)
make believe
need new body
hella
it was also the show that had the better turn out.
there was barely anyone at the fireside bowl for that particular show.
i don't know.
i didn't take a headcount.
but i was the only one there with a girl.
me: 1.
everyone else: nothing.

1 - intro/at a loss
2 - a lack of
3 - kakkila
4 - flow
5 - red/green*
6 - junkie**
7 - don't bring me down***
8 - splinter my eye
9 - to frown/outro
*=big boys cover
**=instrumental lynyrd skynyrd cover
***=ELO cover

DL

chickasaw mudd puppies - self-titled

label: polygram records
released: 1991

word on the street is that you're planning to take a trip down the appalachian trail.
is that true?
you've seen the movie DELIVERANCE,yeah?
you've at least heard the stories,yeah?
i'm just curious.
i'm not mentioning that to try and put a scare into you.
not me.
not this guy.
i'm just putting together a list of things that people have in common with other people.
that's all.
or is it?
hmmmmmmmmmmm.
not to worry though.
SGM may or may not have cabins set up all over the appalachian mountains.
i'm not really allowed to discuss any of that.
i had to sign papers and whatnot.
they've showed me pictures of people that i know.
or at least i lead them to believe that i know them.
you gotta play the game,man.
sometimes you just have to get into bed with all kinds of unsavory creatures.
just ask your....
you know what?
this isn't a time for jokes.
moving along.
if you're out wandering around the mountains and you get scared for whatever reason just approach the first cabin (or cabin-like building) you come across (even if it looks abandoned) and there'll be a bed for you to sleep in and folks for you to talk to.
all you have to do is drink whatever they offer you and don't ask any questions.
a helpful hint: if you're the first one to come to just quietly gather up your backpack and get out the door as quickly as possible.
actually just go on ahead and stash your backpack somewhere nearby in some bushes or something.
there's a difference between "waking up" and "coming to".
you'll see.
just mention us to anyone you come across.
even if they don't seem very friendly.
and everything should be fine.
like i said: i'm not trying to scare you.

so.
you're going to need some tunes to accompany you on your outing.
and i recommend that this be some of those tunes.
it'll fit in with where you're going.
it's very americana.
you may even find yourself air banding along playing an invisible washboard.
maybe you should play it a little too overly enthusiastically to the point where folks might find themselves thinking "they just ain't right." and leave you alone.
it could very well save your life out there.
save it from what?
absolutely nothing.
this is completely safe.
yeah.
the band were/are pals with michael stipe.
you know.
the r.e.m. guy.
he helped produce this.
even provides some vocals on a song.
that's something,right?
yeah it is.
and they even cover some creedence clearwater revival.
the song "lodi".
even the dude abides with some creedence.
don't be on the wrong side of the line with that.

i've put together a care package for your journey....
coffee.
beef jerky.
trail mix.
an old issue of PLAYBOY.
it's the issue with sherilyn fenn in it.
just in case you get lonely.
and some chloroform.
just in case you get lonely.

have fun and i'll see you on UNSOLVED MYSTERIES.
what?
no.
i said UNGLOVED HISTORIES.
it's a new show.
i'll tape it for you while you're gone.

1 - words & knives
2 - cold blue
3 - lodi (creedence clearwater revival cover)*
4 - nothin'*
*=3.4.91 - marquee club - london,england

DL

v/a - sex & subversion: a thick records document

label: thick records
released: 2003

this is one of those label samplers made up of some "previously unreleased" tracks and whatnot.
and you know you like some "previously unreleased" tracks and whatnot.
your friends do.
start trying to fit in.
you know you that want to be stereotyped.
you know that you want to be classified.

1 - sullen - all fall down
2 - local h - cooler heads
3 - the methadones - far away
4 - blue meanies - short attention span*
5 - coldblade - kiss my ass*
6 - the tossers - time to go
7 - tom daily - josephine milkweed*
8 - new black - booze olympics*
9 - the gc5 - the long goodbye
10 - motel blonde - keeping misery company*#
11 - the arrivals - -1/hell can wait (remix)
12 - haymarket riot - bought your weight
13 - vortis - christmas in kabul*
14 - bitchy - white riot*+
15 - calliope - future days
16 - lil' dave merriman - i palindrome i**
17 - scott lucas - tangerine**^

*=previously unreleased
+=the clash cover
#=members of dropkick murphys and the gc5
**=live
^=led zeppelin cover

DL

child abuse - self-titled

label: lovepump united
released: 2007

have you ever been spent time in your uncle's basement listening to him tell stories about the war that involved things like "if he didn't stay quiet he'd give away our location so i had to...." or "have you ever seen so much fire that you didn't know where it ended and you began?" or "to this day i can eat a hamburger without thinking of...."?

and then you'd study his facial expressions.
and then you'd study that look in his eyes.
and then you'd find yourself wondering "that look. what if it had a sound. what would it sound like?".

or you could just stay at home and listen to some agoraphobic nosebleed while you're listening to lightning bolt and some flying luttenbachers and some daughters.
yes.
all at the same time.
if you're going to take that route i suggest that you pack everything up and take it out to that abandoned farmhouse you like to go to when you just want to get away from it all.
yeah.
i know about the farmhouse.
where do you think the picture that's on the album cover came from?
yeah.
i know all about that too.
don't worry.
your secret is safe with me.
what you do out there with those action figures is your business.

but i digress.....

you'll want to do all of that out there where no one can hear it.
you already know what your neighbors think of you.
they don't even invite you to any of the block parties.
even with your potato salad.
yeah.
i'm sure it's good.

here's another solution....
instead of having to go through all of that you could just give this a try.
get yourself one of those discman things.
and no one will be none the wiser.
and if you have to walk around looking like that just make sure your blinds are closed.
yes.
i'm taking night classes in order to become a life coach.
yes.
that's why i'm wearing this sweater.
my gram gram made it for me.
no you can't have it.

DL

david bowie - i'm afraid of americans

label: virgin
released: 1997

the year is 1995.
the place is tinley park,il.
the venue is the new world music theatre.
i was out on the lawn.
it was the OUTSIDE tour.

the reason for me being there was the nine inch nails as i'd been a fan ever since the BROKEN ep.
yeah.
i know about PRETTY HATE MACHINE.
i can appreciate some PRETTY HATE MACHINE.
that came later on.
just like i can appreciate some WITH SYMPATHY.
yeah.
i know that's ministry.
just saying.
THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL was still fresh.

and then there's david bowie.
i'm pretty sure that at least 20% of that crowd only kinda sorta knew who he was.
and i'm pretty sure that they only knew of him because of their parents listening to the radio.
but they probably knew of him as he'd had trent reznor in his video for "i'm afraid of americans".
speaking for myself: i knew of david bowie.
i liked some david bowie.
i grew in the 80s.
and then there's that video for "dancing in the street"....

but i digress.....

so there i was.
standing out on the lawn with my then girlfriend.
she knew of david bowie as well.
she liked david bowie as well.
she grew up in the 80s as well.
as for how she felt towards the "dancing in the street" video i just don't know.
we never discussed such things.
i don't know why.
we should've.
perhaps we would've stayed together a bit longer than we had.

the band prick took the stage first.
they were just ok.
i'd only knew of the one song by them.
"i apologise".
and no.
that's not a misspelling.
that's how they spelled it.
who am i to argue with that?

and then came the nine inch nails.
i've seen the band twice in my lifetime.
this being the first.
this being the "cranky kid who needs a juice box and a nap" version of the nine inch nails.
the second time i'd seen them was in lincoln,ne back in 2006.
that version of the nine inch nails had drank all of the juice box and were well rested.
they might as well have taken the stage wearing snuggly sweaters with rocking chairs and mugs of warm tea and told stories of shenanigans past.
yeah.
and that's all that i'll say about that.

every so often david bowie would wander out on stage and perform with the nine inch nails.
it was during one of these times that caused the fella that was grinding up against his fellow hot topic employee girlfriend to stop what he was doing and to glare towards the stage and utter the following words:

"who's the old faggot on stage?!"

i just stood there and took it all in.
thought about it.
mulled the words over in my head.
i can't remember which song was playing at the time but it was causing the crowd to move and i took that as an opportunity to "accidentally" kick that person in the back of the leg.
he stumbled and then he and his lady friend looked over at me.
and i returned a look that both said "bro! totally sorry!" and "you know what you did.".

yeah.
that was a good story,grampa.
how did you get out of the basement again?
we're expecting company and you can't be up here.
it seems as if we're going to have to use a higher dose this time around.

what you get here are 6 versions of the song "i'm afraid of americans".
"remixes" if you will.
done by folks with names like: trent reznor and dave ogilvie and charlie clouser and brian eno and photek.
ice cube even makes a chill appearance.
yeah.
that just happened.
and you let it happen.
now get off my lawn.

DL

bughummer - the getaway with

label: lovitt records
released: 2004

these 3 fellers were from savannah,ga.
they're not together anymore.
their guitar player is now in the band engine down.
they would've fit in on dischord records.
they could've played with slint.
they could've played with don caballero.
who knows?
maybe they did.
so if you recognize any of the band names mentioned....
this is for you,kid.
listen to it.
do what you need to do while listening to it.
just listen to it.
not to worry though.
i'm not going to go into the details of what it is you do.
we'll save that sort of thing for group.
perhaps we'll run into one another at the coffee machine.
but i must warn you....
if i see that you've penetrated all of the filled donuts with your finger in order to find out what's inside again i will unleash hell upon you.
and then i'll drag you out into the parking lot where i'll place you inside of a potato sack and then drag you onto the city bus as i'm not allowed to drive unaccompanied at night.
and then once we get to our destination i'll let you out of your potato sack cell.
and then you'll see that you're in my kitchen.
and then you'll notice that i'll have various donuts placed onto paper plates on the table.
and then i'll sit you down and show you the proper way to test filled donuts.
you take a toothpick and you penetrate the donut.
and then you'll see the filling.
and then once i feel that you understand everything you're free to go.
sure.
you could go to the police.
but they're not going to believe you.
no one will believe you.
you see.
everyone feels the same way that i do about it.
and that's all i'm going to say about it.
what?
excuse me?
it's not you doing that?
you know who's doing it?
and you can prove it?
my apologies.
i'll let you in on a little secret: those meetings are set up as traps to draw what we like to refer to as "pokers" out into the open.
we go from town to town.
we call them "poker runs".
are you ready to join the cause?
show me what you know on that donut.

DL

v/a - the imago traveling road show

label: imago
released: 1993

and now for a lesson in brevity:

this is a sampler put out by imago records back in the year 1993.
and yes.
there's aimee mann.
and yes.
there's paula cole.
that's what the "skip" function on your stereo is for.
yeah.

1 - pere ubu - the story of my life
2 - boneclub - everything's on fire (live)
3 - boneclub - her garden (live)
4 - aimee mann - i should've known
5 - aimee mann - jimmy hoffa jokes
6 - orangutang - leo tolstoy
7 - orangutang - gearhead
8 - paula cole - bethlehem
9 - paul cole - saturn girl
10 - basehead - brown kisses pt. 1
11 - basehead - i need a joint
12 - baby animals - impossiblr to fly (live)
13 - suzanne rhatigan - jump
14 - suzanne rhatigan - new suit blues (live)
15 - rollins band - low self opinion
16 - henry rollins - vacation in england (live)

DL

redd kross - get out of myself

label: this way up
released: 1996

i'm assuming that you're aware of what redd kross is,yeah?
i'm going to be honest and upfront with all of you right now....
get ready for it....
here it comes....

when i'd first come across the band i wasn't really all that much of a fan. i'd seen a video on 120 MINUTES and was all like "so. that's something i've watched. and they're horrible spellers.". that was my first impression. i don't even remember which video i'd seen. so there. i've said it.

a few days back i was wandering about inside of a goodwill and came across this. it was $1. it's an import. so i figured "what the hell." and picked it up. i'm pretty sure that i said the words "what the hell" out loud because the old timer fingering the records across the way looked over into my direction. i was going to ask him if maybe he'd like to hangout and get a milkshake sometime but he disappeared too quickly. i was going to try and track him down but the place was full of old folks and they all just eventually end up looking alike after awhile.

so there i was with this.
it's my first redd krossing.
i don't even remember ever seeing an actual redd kross album in a store.

so yeah.
this is a single that was released over in the uk.

and i know that since you'd read the words up yonder it's been eating at you and you're not going to be able to go about the rest of your day until you know the answer....

redd kross are ok.
and i'd probably pick up something else by them if'n i were to come across something again.

1 - get out of myself
2 - so cal v8
3 - teen competition (demo)

DL

sidekick kato - 1st class chump

label: johanns face records
released: 1996

maybe you've heard of the fireside bowl.
it's in chicago,il.
i've only ever been there once which is a shame as i'm from illinois.
i'd seen the bands american heritage and yakuza and burnt by the sun.
it's a bowling alley that also put on shows.
they stopped doing that for a bit.
but it's doing it once again.
back in the day any "indie" or "alternative" or "punk" band making their way across the midwest would make a stop there.
i'd even go as far as to say that it was perhaps the cbgb of the midwest.
no.
i don't know about the fireside's bathroom situation.
i didn't use the facilities while i was there.
bands with names like alkaline trio and at the drive in and avail and buzzov*en and cap'n jazz and don caballero and hot water music and face to face and jawbreaker and.....
well.
you get the idea.
these fellas played there as well.
there's even a picture of the exterior of the fireside on the album's inlay card.
so if'n you like any of those bands mentioned above.....

DL

pugs - bite the red knee

label: casual tonalities
released: 1997

i remember seeing this band back in 1997 when they were part of the LOLLAPALOOZA tour. this was the same day that i'd gotten turned onto the band skeleton key as well. i remember also seeing tool (you should never experience tool live during daylight hours. you just shouldn't.) and devo (there was a fella that was "dancing" in front of my friends and i during their entire set. we dubbed him "devo man".) and james (my friends looked at me strangely when i screamed out "she only cums when she's on top" during "laid".) and beck and failure and and and....

yeah.
i'm not going to reenact the entire day for you.
just know that i went out and bought both skeleton key's FANTASTIC SPIKES THROUGH BALLOON and this album after that day.
good times.

the best way to descibe this album?
if you like the above mentioned skeleton key album or the not so spastic moments of melt banana or some early B52's you'll dig this.
ya dig?
they even cover that one song that pee wee herman dances to.
remember that?
up on the bar?
yeah.
don't pretend like you've never seen that movie,nerd.

DL

v/a - singles: original motion picture soundtrack

label: epic
released: 1992

remember that one scene where that one character was going get a video made for EXPECT THE BEST and she's trying to explain what she wants and the other person is all like "no way,man! that shit is just horrible! i will create your look! and for $10 extra buzzo will shoot your video." and then they show buzz osborne sitting at the counter and he's all eyeballing the woman and whatnot and then says "$20."?

or what about that once scene where the guy is buying multiple pregnancy tests and he takes them up to the checkout counter and the cashier is all like "hey man! i remember you from college,man!" and then goes on to tell the story of why he flunked out of school because he was always staying up late for the guy's radio show and not doing his home work and then he's all "you're the only guy i know that could mix the melvins and public enemy! dun dun dun dundundun dun dundundun i'd like to take i'd like to feel wanted is a joke in yo' town!"? remember that king buzzo was the cashier?

yeah.
you don't remember that?

what about that scene where that one guy was trying to teach his friend the art of seduction and he says "when it comes down to makin' out,whenever possible,put on side one of GLUEY PORCH TREATMENTS."

or what about that scene where buzz osborne goes into that convienent store and needs to use the bathroom and while he's back there someone shows up to rob it and the guy behind the counter freaks out and splashes the guy in the face with hot coffee and then he comes from out of the bathroom and says "awesome! totally awesome!".

or that scene where buzzo was coming out of the pool all in slow motion and whatnot? his hair looked fucking amazing!

what?
that never happened?
totally different movie?
yes.
i know that they were written by the same person.
come on now.

i know that.
i'm just trying to say that buzz osborne would've made both of those movies that much better.
and why wasn't there a melvins presence on this soundtrack?
everything that takes place in seattle should involve the melvins.
and where was nirvana?
and the grungies?
or that band whose singer looked like adam sandler in a chris cornell wig?
i think they were called dogs or something like that.
or larry "bud" melman using a payphone.
tisk tisk.
and where's sonic youth?
there can be some smashing pumpkins but no sonic youth?
what the....
i mean....
BAH!
rant over.
GET OFF MY LAWN!

1 - alice in chains - would?
2 - pearl jam - breath
3 - chris cornell - seasons
4 - paul westerberg - dyslexic heart
5 - the lovemongers - battle of evermore*
6 - mother love bone - chloe dancer/crown of thorns
7 - soundgarden - birth ritual
8 - pearl jam - state of love and trust
9 - mudhoney - overblown
10 - paul westerberg - waiting for somebody
11 - jimi hendrix - may this be love
12 - screaming trees - nearly lost you
13 - smashing pumpkins - drown

DL

v/a - judgement night: music from the motion picture

label: epic records
released: 1993

this turned 24 years of age yesterday.
it's asking that you send all of your used jncos to us.
we promise that it'll receive every single pair.
promise.
yeah.
i know that you'd rather give them to it yourself but it doesn't leave the house all that much nowadays.
you've seen the movie,yeah?
of course you have.
it doesn't want to get the jeremy piven's character treatment.
for whatever reason it believes the movie is a documentary that it was duped into providing the soundtrack to.
i don't know why.
the thing barely sleeps anymore.
all it does is drink coffee and read THE ART OF WAR and paces.
we've already tried a tranquilizer gun.
we've already tried to slip something into it's cereal.
we even tried to hide a pill in a cut up hot dog.
we're probably going to try and somehow get into some sort of a restraint jacket and into a van so we can drive it out into the country.
any volunteers?
didn't think so.
want a hot dog?

1 - helmet/house of pain - just another victim
2 - teenage fanclub/de la soul - fallin'
3 - living colour/run dmc - me and my microphone
4 - biohazard/onyx - judgement night
5 - slayer/ice t - disorder*
6 - faith no more/boo-ya t.r.i.b.e. - another body murdered
7 - sonic youth/cypress hill - i love you mary jane
8 - mudhoney/sir mix-a-lot - freak momma
9 - dinosaur jr/del tha funky homosapien - missing link
10 - therapy?/fatal - come and die
11 - pearl jam/cypress hill - real thing
*=medley of songs by the band the exploited ("war"/"uk '82"/"disorder")

DL

v/a - lubricant for your mind

label: circus records
released: 1993

did you know that there are other bands from italy?
yeah.
more than just:
ephel duath
goblin
MoRkObOt
uzeda
zu

i know.
i was shocked as well.

and here are 4 of them.
none of which are functional anymore.

the mouseblasters:
1 - exploring hard sense
2 - those dose in my head goes to yours
3 - smell of it
4 - simply alone

six minute war madness:
5 - the drop scene
6 - hunted down
7 - dead boat hope
8 - blind

booger!
9 - straight on
10 - i can't believe it
11 - duckman dance
12 - come 'n' get it (japanese mix)

sentence to blunder:
13 - altar
14 - capital waste
15 - subway drama

DL

v/a - jukebox buddha

label: staubgold
released: 2006

sure.
this probably doesn't belong here.
but have you ever thought about maybe it's you that don't belong here?
it doesn't have to be loud all the time.
i know.
crazy,yeah?
sometimes you just have to lay back with the headphones on and drift off.
"what kind of hippy...."
yeah.
i know.
it's uncomfortable.
"you're uncomfortable."
yes.
i am.
thank you.

are you a fan of some "no wave" musics?
what about some of that "found sound" business?
drone?
brian eno?

you look confused.
thank you.
drink this.
go ahead.
everything will make sense soon enough.

1 - wang fan - xuanzhuan de tuoluonidi
2 - kammerflimmer kollektief - gammler,zen + hohe berge
3 - aki onda - the buddha in new york
4 - adrian sherwood & doug wimbish - karma-cola
5 - thomas fehlmann - liquid buddha
6 - robert henke - layer 02
7 - blixa bargeld - little yellow
8 - es - tieta valojen taa
9 - gudrun gut - rendering buddha
10 - mapstation - watching paik's video buddha
11 - center of excellence - buddha machine commercial
12 - sunnO))) - bp//simple
13 - alog - a dragon lies listening
14 - minit - winged life
15 - sun city girls - cry valley

DL

endpoint - idiots

label: doghouse records
released: 1992

this is endpoint.
this is endpoint playing some covers.
endpoint were a band from louisville,ky.
you probably already like endpoint.
and now you can find out what endpoint likes.
don't be selfish.
endpoint probably would've liked some of what you liked.
endpoint probably would've liked the fact that you like to walk around your house/apartment wearing only a size XL THE THING t-shirt and eating ice cream sandwiches.
actually they wouldn't.
you really need to be wearing a size XXL t-shirt.
and endpoint do appreciate THE THING and all of it's non CGI magic but don't like the fact that you're prancing about in that tiny t-shirt.
that's right.
i put all of that business out there for everyone to picture.
endpoint probably would appreciate that.
see what you get for being selfish?
but if'n you were willing to share those ice cream sandwiches....

1 - building (embrace cover)
2 - attitude (misfits cover)
3 - circus of pain (malignant growth cover)
4 - persistent vision (rites of spring cover)

DL

husker du - 8.28.85 - first avenue - minneapolis,mn

husker du had a better vocalist/drummer combo than the eagles.
true story.
RIP,grant hart.

1 - flip your wig
2 - every everything
3 - makes no sense at all
4 - the girl who lives on heaven hill
5 - i apologize
6 - if i told you
7 - folk lore
8 - don't want to know if you are lonely
9 - i don't know for sure
10 - terms of psychic warfare
11 - powerline
12 - books about ufos
13 - hardly getting over it
14 - sorry somehow
15 - (you're so square) baby i don't care/the wit and the wisdom/(you're so square) reprise
16 - green eyes
17 - divide and conquer

DL

deadfood - weird feelings

label: self-released
year: 2000

this was something that i'd totally forgotten about. i'd been digging through my cds and came across it. i remember coming across an interview with the band in some random zine i'd had and they'd sounded right up my alley. so i sent off for this cd. that was back in 2000. and now it's been unearthed. found betwixt a brutal truth album (SOUNDS OF THE ANIMAL KINGDOM) and a sugartooth album (THE SOUNDS OF SOLID).

"none of that makes sense. i just don't....uh...."

i'd been digging through some crap in some random boxes and found some cds that i'd thought were long gone.

and then i'd found a candy bar in between my bed and the wall that i'd thought was gone as well.

yeah.
it's been a good couple of days.

but you're not here for a candy bar,are you?
it was a 3 musketeers.
and it's gone.

did you like what mr. bungle was doing on their first album?
do you like early OldLadyDrivers?*
well then.
this is all for you,consumer of such things.
*=they cover the band's "colostomy grab bag".

yes.
the candy bar is gone.
don't come over here.

DL

v/a - punk university vol. 1

label: oglio records
released: 1994

you'll probably take a look at the track listing and find yourself wondering "hey. where are black flag? where are the dead kennedys? where are minor threat? where are the misfits? why am i thinking in alphabetical order?".

well. all i can say is that they were all scheduled to be involved in the festivities but now they're on some sort of double secret probation for whatever reason. when we contacted the dean's orifice they had a prepared statement at the ready:

"today's new batch of alternative rock bands learned from some of the most innovative artists of the modern era-punks. the school these new musicians attended was PUNK UNIVERSITY; no text books,no homework,just a drive to express themselves with guitars and passionate vocals. their teachers include 999,the buzzcocks,fear,the ramones,iggy pop and suicidal tendencies.

the next time you tune in your favorite rock radio station,remember where the bands you hear today learned their craft. PUNK UNIVERSITY."

so yeah.
punk u,maaaaaaan.

1 - suicidal tendencies - institutionalized
2 - buzzcocks - orgasm addict
3 - 999 - homicide
4 - the ramones - beat on the brat
5 - vandals - ladykiller
6 - adolescents - amoeba
7 - circle jerks - wild in the streets
8 - red kross - annette's got the hits
9 - x - los angeles
10 - fear - new york is alright if you like saxophones
11 - iggy pop - lust for life
12 - killing joke - eighties

DL

kabul golf club - le bal du rat mort

label: uproar for veneration
released: 2012

you like the at the drive in,yeah?
you like the blood brothers,yeah?
you like the fugazi,yeah?
you like the refused,yeah?

this is what would happen if'n you were to be staying at a motel and you'd been trying to get some sleep and the occupants in the next room were raising some kind of unholy ruckus and it had been going on for hours and all you want to do is sleep because it's 3:00am and do you really need an excuse for wanting to sleep? fuck you,dear. you're in this motel room because you just want some peace and quiet and if you want to watch tv naked while eating fast food you can because there's no one there to stop you. but now you just want some fucking sleep and you're not getting that sleep because there's something going on in the next room. you've had it. you don't even bother getting dressed. you just walk on over to that door and you fucking pound on it. and you pound on it. and you pound on it some more. and then you hear the doorknob move and you take a few steps back. you've got all of the angry words you're going to scream planned out inside your head. and then the door opens.....

it's fugazi's IN ON THE KILL TAKER.
and you catch a quick glimpse of the scenery behind it.
there.
on the bed.
it's the blood brothers' BURN,PIANO ISLAND,BURN and refused's THE SHAPE OF PUNK TO COME and at the drive in's RELATIONSHIP OF COMMAND.

and then suddenly all of the angry words fall away.
and you just stand there.
everyone is looking back at you.
and you just stand there.
head spinning.
and suddenly the door is left wide open and everyone is back on the bed.
and you're just standing there.
"last chance for a slow dance."

fast forward to a week later.
you're sitting on the exam table waiting for the doctor to come in.
sure.
you can probably explain away the rash.
but what about the pregnancy?

DL

el bad - bad motherfucker

label: SST
released: 1996

it's greg ginn doing greg ginn stuff while 2 other fellas follow along.
you want more than that?
fair enough.
it's greg ginn doing greg ginn stuff while the more recent of the black flag drummers (gregory moore) plays the drums and some guy named reece does the vocals thing.
also: the bass player for the band gone (steve sharp) shows up for a few songs.
also II: greg ginn takes over the bass parts when he's not around.
we good?
not yet?
you know that guy back in high school that started growing a mustache in the 8th grade that would sit in his primer grey trans-am in the parking lot behind the pool hall that seemed to be constantly cranking out the same slayer album (which would be SHOW NO MERCY. you'd always thought that maybe the tape was just stuck in the player but that wasn't the case as you'd found out because he randomly out of nowhere offered you a ride home because he wanted to know some stuff about your sister and iron maiden's NUMBER OF THE BEAST was playing.) while wearing a slayer t-shirt and black jeans and white tennis shoes? remember that guy? of course his name was brad. he would listen to this.

and now i can see by the nodding of your head that you get it.
what?
no.
it's totally ok that you pictured crispin glover in RIVER'S EDGE.

DL

v/a - initial records: worst label ever

label: initial records
released: ?

sampler cds are just the best. they're the kick-ass mixtape/cd you didn't make. but you can get all of the accolades. totally. but you've got to make sure that your friends are none the wiser. so maybe try your spiel on one of your grandparents first. sure. they'd love pretty much anything you'd do and you don't really want to lie to them. but are you really lying to them? maybe you are. but these are also the grandparents that would never let you sit up past 9:00pm to watch television while you were spending the night. all you wanted to do was sit on the couch with a bag of chips and watch 120 MINUTES. you weren't going to be bothering anyone. it would be just you on the couch in the basement watching television. at a reasonable volume even. why do your grandparents even have the channel that plays 120 MINUTES in the first place? well. grampa likes to watch the tv and has to have all of the channels. even channels he doesn't even watch. he just has to have them. fucking control freak. and why do they want you in bed before 9:00 anyway? what goes on after you're asleep? remember that one time when you woke up and had to use the bathroom and you looked over at the digital clock before you go out of bed and it was only 10:45 and when you went to turn the knob on the door it wouldn't move? was it locked? what was going on? what was going on out there? and then when you looked through the keyhole there was nothing but blackness staring back at you. but you really had to go to the bathroom. but you were freaked out about all of the possible lovecraftian horrors that could possibly be awaiting you on the other side.....
and this is why the plant your gramma had put in the corner was now dead.
you'd thought it was made of plastic.
and that's why you'll find nothing but plactic plants in this household.
thanks for listening,kids.
it's naptime.

and now this.....

1 - black cross - roll up your sleeves
2 - blood red - peeping tom
3 - blue sky mile - the philosophy of time travel
4 - breather resist - the second half
5 - criteria - the life
6 - harkonen - in tow
7 - helicopter helicopter - harsh light
8 - lords - mouth to mouth
9 - the national acrobat - the raleigh
10 - paulson - a great pretending
11 - roy - t town concrete
12 - peter searcy - spark
13 - ultimate fakebook - when i'm with you,i'm okay
14 - ink & dagger - catch the flashback
15 - le shok - electric digits
16 - the movielife - maybe it's nothing
17 - planes mistaken for stars - depression*
18 - helicopter helicopter - talk the flyer down
19 - blood red - archdiocese
20 - criteria - thickness of the wave
*=black flag cover

DL

sugar - if i can't change your mind

label: rykodisc
released: 1993

this is me assuming that you've heard of husker du.
this is me assuming that you know that after the band split up the vocals/guitar guy went on to form this here band.
his name is bob mould.
he was joined by former mercyland bassist dave barbe.
he was joined by former human sexual response drummer malcolm travis.
and that's that.
now go.

1 - if i can't change your mind (album version)
2 - the slim*
3 - if i can't change your mind*
4 - where diamonds are halos*
*=recorded at BBC studio 4 in london,england on 8.24.92

DL

the denison/kimball trio - walls in the city

label: skin graft records
released: 1994

it's duane denison.
it's jim kimball.

and now i'll make mention of the lineage of these fellas:
the jesus lizard
mule
laughing hyenas
tomahawk
firewater

duane denison plays the guitar as per usual.
jim kimball plays the drums and percussive instruments as per usual.

this is the score to a short film called WALLS IN THE CITY.
i'm thinking that you've already made that assumption.
good job.
it also provides a good accompaniment to your naked journeys around the house when you're left alone at home.
or so i've heard.
also: never fry bacon naked.
or so i've heard.
though this provides a good accompaniment to that as well.
or so i've heard.

DL

v/a - black light special: developing artists sampler

released: 1993

this is one of those "promotion only. not for sale." deals.
there are various labels involved.
none of which will be mentioned here as it doesn't really matter.
just know that you probably like some bands on those labels.

and yes. the goo goo dolls are on here. twice. i'm not going to make up any kind of an excuse as to why they're here. but once upon a time they had a more "punk rock" sound kinda sorta similar to the replacements (paul westerberg even co-wrote a song with them). and that's all i'm going to say about them.

and to clear up any questions: i've never been a fan. never ever.

as for everything else....
there's a little something there for everyone.
just look.
and that skip button is there on your stereo for a reason.
yeah.

1 - goo goo dolls - we are the normal
2 - goo goo dolls - girl right next to me
3 - belly - feed the tree
4 - belly - gepetto
5 - dinosaur jr. - start choppin'
6 - dinosaur jr. - out there
7 - pure - blast
8 - bash & pop - loose ends
9 - saint etienne - you're in a bad way
10 - mudhoney - blinding sun
11 - the judybats - being simple

DL

miracle legion - drenched

label: morgan creek records
released: 1992

if you're the sort that identifies as one of those "90s kids" then you're probably well aware of the television show THE ADVENTURES OF PETE & PETE. i can honestly say that i've only ever seen an episode here and there. it was one of those shows that i'd only watch if'n i were to be flipping through the channels and it would be on. and sometimes i actually wished that it were on. confused? as am i. they were confusing times. but i've seen enough of them to know that i could be all like "hey,bro. you know that one show? yeah. that one show. that PETE & PETE show. did you know that so and so were on it?" at a party. yeah. me at a party around other people. it's happened. a sign of the apocalypse? maybe. i'd be honored to contribute just so i could have a demon show up at my door and say "we'd like to thank you for your help in all of this. here's a commemorative t-shirt." and it would be the most awsomest t-shirt that i'd ever seen. i wouldn't be able to take my eyes off of it. it's fucking beautiful. and then the demon would help me put it on. and then it would stand back and i'd be all like "how does it look?" and it'll be all like "it'll do.". and then by the time i get out "it'll do for wha-" everything will go all black and then i'll hear the demon say "got another shrimp for the barbie." and i'll suddenly be falling. i'll be falling for a long time. you know that one scene from BILL & TED'S BOGUS JOURNEY where they're just falling and falling and falling etc etc etc? it'll be just like that. but when i go to look down at the t-shirt it's no longer that fucking sweet t-shirt that i'd seen. nope. it'll be a NELSON WORLD TOUR '91 t-shirt. and it'll be autographed. well played,satan.

but i digress....

janeane gorofalo was on the show.
michael stipe was on the show.
debbie harry was on the show.
luscious jackson were on the show.
kate pierson was on the show.
juliana hatfield was on the show.

yeah.

and then there was this band called polaris.
they played the show's theme song.
they were the show's "house band" and whatnot.
this is that band.
polaris are miracle legion.
miracle legion are polaris.

i can honestly say that before i'd come across them on the soundtrack for the movie A MATTER OF DEGREES i'd never heard of them (if'n you're interested in giving that a listen). the songs they've got on there are ok enough. and they covered mission of burma. so there's that. the other day i found myself in a goodwill looking through their used cd selection and came across this here album. so of course i bought it. and when i got it home and introduced it to everyone else it seemed to get along with everyone. well. almost everyone. there were the slayer albums that had something to say because of course they did. they're slayer and they don't seem to like anyone that isn't slayer. and sometimes some that are. but that's another story for another time. so i placed it into the stereo and pressed play. and then i started hearing the replacements. and then i started hearing some r.e.m. and then there was a little radiohead....

and now we've come to the part of the show where you decide what you hear.
don't worry.
it's going to be fun.
and while i've got you here can i interest you in a NELSON WORLD TOUR '91 t-shirt?
it's autographed.

DL

warrior soul - drugs,god and the new republic

label: DGC
released: 1991

this was something one of my teachers back in high school turned me onto. he had this system where if you were to get the proper grading on one of his assignments he'd let you pick a tape from the closet in the corner. this closet was always locked. kids,man. you just can't seem to trust them. what he'd do is make multiple recordings of the cds he'd had at home and them bring them to the closet. he had quite the setup at home. once during the summer and then friend and i (who were members of the chess team. yes. the teacher just so happened to be the chess coach as well. yes. i was on the chess team.) took a job working for him. we'd go to his house and clean up after his dogs. he had 2 of them. they were huge. he'd pay us in the form of a $10 bill and we could bring in blank cassette tapes and he'd record anything we'd like. the way he had things set up he was able to record more than 1 tape at a time. it was fancy. ah,high school. the stories i could tell. but i'm not going to.

warrior soul.
this is the only album i've heard by them.
and i'm ok with that.
they pretty much sound like every other "hard rock" band from back then.
and honestly i don't really listen this album all that much.
it's just something that i bring out every so often just because of nostalgia and all that.
there's some ok stuff on here though.
there's a joy division cover.
yeah.
and i think that's all that i really have to say about this.

ok.
1 high school story.....

we were able to leave campus for lunch. there was a taco bell and a baskin-robbins and a corner store that people would go to that had snacks and whatnot nearby. sometimes i would end up at the pool hall. i'm not really sure why. i didn't really hangout with anyone back then. i never ate while i was there. i spent my lunches hanging out with a coke and a bag of m&ms most times. they were fun. they got me. and they never seemed to care that i was consuming them. the pool hall was the kind of place that you could show up during one lunch period and stay for the others. the owner didn't seem to care as long as you didn't make a spectacle of yourself. on this particular day i was hanging out in there for a second lunch period because i was waiting for the comic book store down the street to open. yeah. i skipped school. the owner of the comic book store didn't seem to care either just as long as i stayed out of front window. so i'm killing time at the pool hall. talking to random folks here and there. i was standing along the wall when an argument broke out between 2 people. this sort of thing happened in there all the time. it never got beyond the yelling stage (well. any of the times i'd been in there.). so i'm standing there and the 2 guys were talking loudly and finger pointing and whatnot. and then one of them hit the other. a small crowd formed so of course i had to wander over to see what was going on. the guy standing was yelling at the guy on the floor. "get up! blah blah blah." apparently he wasn't moving fast enough so the other guy took a few steps back and cracked him across the face with a boot. you know that sound when you're eating a chicken and you pull the bones apart? that sound. but louder. people were standing there trying to stop the guy from doing anything else. there was blood all over the floor. and that was my cue to get the hell outta there. i'd gotten about 2 blocks away when i'd heard the sirens. the pool hall is a photography studio nowadays. things are always changin'. now go and get grampa a soda.

DL

v/a - certain damage vol. 76

label: college music journal
released: 1996

does anyone remember a thing called the CMJ NEW MUSIC MONTHLY?
it was a magazine filled with stats and whatnot about college radio stations.
every issue came with a sampler cd.
whenever i was in a store and saw an issue amongst their magazine selection they were immediately a few bucks richer.
i was turned onto a few bands via the samplers.
i miss those samplers.
i used to have quite the collection of them.
every once in a great so often i'll come across some of them.
sigh.
always living in the past.
(insert no more chicken wings at the buffet flashback here)

moving on.....
and now this.

1 - the lemonheads - break me
2 - pj harvey - is that all there is?
3 - fluffy - scream
4 - the heads - damage i've done
5 - catherine - four leaf clover
6 - spearhead - chocolate supa highway
7 - buzzcocks - totally from the heart
8 - ditch croaker - the cardinal
9 - pet - skintight
10 - cake - the distance
11 - speedball baby - rubber connection
12 - kissing judas - guenevere
13 - dink - numb II
14 - candy butchers - bells on a leper
15 - leb i sol - balkan peace anthem
16 - joi - move one
17 - superdude - guerilla rock
18 - blind fly - peeling at the wrist
19 - all star united - la la land

DL

v/a - a matter of degrees

label: atlantic
released: 1991

i may or may not have seen this movie.
i don't remember.
there were alot of movies back in the 90s that had decent soundtracks.
the 90s had all of the best movie soundtracks.
true story.
SINGLES.
PUMP UP THE VOLUME.
GROSSE POINT BLANK
JUDGEMENT NIGHT.
ESCAPE FROM L.A.
LOST HIGHWAY.
GUMMO.
NOWHERE.
just to name a few in no particular order.

and now there's this.
i'd randomly come across this whilst perusing the used cd collection at a goodwill.
i do that alot.
and then i saw the track listing and BAM! a dollar spent.
and now i'm passing the saving on to all of you.
i'm such a giver.
just ask anyone down at the free clinic.
but that's another story for another time.

1 - fIREHOSE - max and wells
2 - giant sand - shadow to you
3 - eleventh dream day - liz beth
4 - miracle legion - homer
5 - yo la tengo - something to do
6 - pixies - where is my mind?
7 - the lemonheads - stove
8 - alex chilton - rock hard
9 - schoolly d - who's schoolin' who?
10 - nova mob - evergreen memorial drive
11 - miracle legion - academy fight song*
12 - uncle tupelo - won't forget
13 - throwing muses - matter of degrees
*=mission of burma cover

DL

pound wi - i've got a terrible secret

label: flannel jammies music
released: 1999

you remember a band called the united sons of toil,yeah?
i'm pretty sure that you do if'n you've been coming around these parts for awhile.
if not....
all i can tell you is find out.
just find out.

the united sons of toil had a singer/guitarist that went by the name russell emerson hall.
why?
i'm pretty sure that's the name his parentals gave him.
i'm pretty sure.
sounds pretty regal,eh?

this was the band he'd fronted before all of that.
yeah.
he played the guitar as well.

pound wi.
p'elvis.
the united sons of toil.
tyranny is tyrrany.
all russell.
find out.
i can't give you everything.
sometimes you have to find out things for yourself.
listen to different bands.
try miracle whip instead of mayonaise.
open that box you always see in the alley.

[x] fugazi
[x] hum
[x] pre 2000/post 1992 melvins
[x] shellac
[x] post 1990 sonic youth
[x] the united sons of toil
[x] unwound

know what i mean?
come on now.
find out,kid.
eat that bean burrito that's been out on the counter for about 45 minutes.
don't forget the hot sauce.

oh.
and there's a prince cover.

DL

dysrhythmia - pretest

label: relapse records
released: 2003

it was a relapse records sampler that had brought these fellers to my attention via the song "bastard".

and then i saw them open the show as part of the relapse records 2003 NORTH AMERICAN CONTAMINATION TOUR in a tiny venue located in ybor city,fl called the orpheum. also on the bill were the bands uphill battle and mastodon and cephalic carnage. i was right up front pressed into the stage. this was the night i was almost beheaded by the guitar neck of the guitar player for cephalic carnage. my life flashed before my eyes. all of the sandwiches i was never going to get to eat. all of the cds i'd just bought were surely going to either get used as coasters by my then roommates or it was all going to get donated to the goodwill. and that one waitress and i'd never gotten her name. and now someone else was going to have to wash the dishes at work. it was pretty bleak.....

but this is about dysrhythmia.
they're an instrumental trio from philadelphia,pa.
this album was "produced" by a one steve albini.

and if'n you're liking of musics dips into the earlier version of the dillinger escape plan and behold...the arctopus and some primus and brain tentacles and the postman syndrome....

well.
you get the idea.
hopefully.

and now if you'll excuse me....
i have to go and stare into the bathroom mirror while playing some cephalic carnage (namely the song "pseudo") and continue to try and remember the name of the waitress as i'm pretty sure that i'd loaned her a cd so she could try to acclimate herself to what sort of music i was into at the time. it was her idea. she was supposed to go to the above mentioned show with me but didn't for some reason. i can't really remember the reason. i don't really care honestly. i just need to remember which cd i'd loaned her. so if you're a waitress and worked at the denny's in plant city,fl.....

DL

death - symbolic

label: roadrunner records
released: 1995

once upon a time there was a blog that went by the name COLOSTOMY GRAB-BAG. i know it existed as i created it. it was named after a song by a band called OldLadyDrivers that can be found on their SELF-TITLED album (which you should really check out for yourself. and while you're at it give LO FLUX TUBE a go as well.) but COLOSTOMY GRAB-BAG. yeah. it wasn't really around all that long. it had been created to put the more "extreme" forms of music that wouldn't really fit here at the SGM. but one day i was in a hurry and left the gate open and when i returned home it was gone. as was my rob halford costume and my richard nixon mask. and there was an empty milk carton in the refrigerator. sure. i could've done that myself but i can totally blame CBG because it's not here to defend itself. i don't even know where its current whereabouts are. though i did get a postcard in the mail a few years back stating that it had been spotted on an island somewhere near japan and the words "reassignment" and  "surgery" were used. so yeah. if you're awakened by a knocking on your door and you look through the peephole to see a leather clad richard nixon on the other siade of the door you'll know what's going on. and it won't be me (for once. yeah. i got the papers.)

but i digress....

from time to time some of that sort of music will probably find its way over here. and that's why this is here.

death.
the one from orlando,fl and not detroit,mi.

this band was my first foray into the metal of death. it was from the borrowing of the LEPROSY album. it was 5th grade and i was already into bands like the slayer and the black sabbath and the metallica. so when i'd brought death home my parents didn't know what to think. after having listened to LEPROSY i woke up with hair on my chest and a mustache the next day. and when my family would tell me what to do i was saying things like "you can't tell me that to do! you're not my real dad!" and my sister was all like "duh. i'm your sister. what's wrong with you?" and i was all like "what's wrong with me? what's wrong with me?! no,man! what's wrong with you!" and then i'd storm off into my room and slam the door and then remember that i was in the process of making a sandwich so i'd storm back into the kitchen and finish the making of the sandwich and then put everything away and then rinse the mayonaise off of the butterknife because i didn't want to have to sit through another "rinse off your dishes." speech because fuuuuuuuuuuuuck....

but i digress....

so yeah. this band was a turning point for me.

"but why didn't you just post LEPROSY as it seems pretty pertinent to this situation."

because.
that's why.
i'd recently found this album at a thrift store.
and i can't find my copy of LEPROSY.
COLOSTOMY GRAB-BAG probably has it.
thanks for bringing that up.
and now i have to go and make a sandwich to make myself feel better.
sure.
i'll clean the knife off.
with my tongue.
you're not my real dad.

DL

The Kneads - When Nothing's Going Right, Go Left

Label: Potluck Foundation
Year: 2017

Two years ago, from out of nowhere, but seemingly plucked directly from my own caveman brain, The Kneads showed up to reclaim the glorious tradition of North Carolina indie rock and boldly take it upon themselves to reanimate the neglected corpse of perfectly crafted "good time music".
And now, over two years later, just as I was beginning to doubt their staying power (erectile dysfunction zinger) The Kneads coming barnstorming back across the fertile Piedmont hills of my youth (euphemism for: being really good at playing a style of music formative to my earlier years and that which was a benchmark in the underground landscape of the late 80s/early 90s). I couldn't be happier.

The NC musical DNA runs deep with this band. For good reason too, these aren't 20 year old dudes who've raided the Merge Records back catalog, these are..."wizened" dudes of a refined age who helped write and record some of the best records in NC music history. They know of what they speak. But, to prove a point (and my own NC bona fides), here's how The Kneads stack up.
Take the earnest punchy Replacements rave-ups of Small (or Small 23 if you must), take some of the endearingly ramshackle punk pastiche of Erectus Monotone, take some of the D.C.-ish first wave emo of Vanilla Trainwreck, take the DIY pop damage of Bricks, take some of the skewed, noisy buzz of The Raymond Brake, take a hint of the insanely catchy but subtly venomous Archers of Loaf, take some of the Spatula dynamic punch, but most of all, take a whole bunch of the anthemic power pop of Superchunk. And then have Guy Picciotto sing on top of it all (I double-checked that one with my wife, and her initial comment was, "sounds like Guy singing with Superchunk"...so...it's official).

Can you find fault with any of that? I can't. It's a very specific sound played with the rarest of authenticity, and it's fucking perfect. Look for this one on the (highly coveted) Best of 2017 List later this year.

DL

ac/dc - powerage

label: atlantic
released: 1978

yes.
ac/dc.
bon scott era.
and if you're looking at this with a sour look on your face and you say "i don't even like ac/dc,bro! what the fuck! MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE is a horrible movie!" you're obviously sitting at a table at a starbucks trying to look cool.
i get it.
and from the lack of strange looks on people's faces i'm assuming that this sort of thing happens alot.
but we got ourselves a situation here,bubba.
MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE is an ok movie.
that soda machine scene.
the ATM machine calling that guy an asshole.
the voice of lisa simpson getting felt up.
emilio estevez yelling at trucks.
what more could you want out of a movie?
come on now.
like you've never walked around screaming "WE MADE YOU!" at inanimate objects.
i do it all the time.
even before the movie.

i'll end this conversation with this and then i'll get up and walk away....
bon scott>the yowling hobo.
that's right.
i said it.
and now if you'll excuse me....
my order is up and i need to sit over in that corner and repeatedly wonder aloud the fact that donald duck doesn't wear pants but whenever he gets out of the shower he puts a towel around his waist while a richard nixon mask sits on the table in front of me.
why is that richard nixon mask there?
exactly.
feel free to engage me if you'd like.
have a nice day.

DL

black sabbath - live at last

label: NEMS
released: 1980

you don't know you need a 19 minute version of "wicked world" in your life until you hear a 19 minute version of "wicked world".

nuff said.
now get out of my office.
seriously.
go.
get out.
before the others start talking.
i'm really not wanting to have to endure another "we were just eating lunch. yes. in the janitors closet. yes. the entire afternoon." discussion with my cat.
not again.
now go.
if i give you something out of the lost and found will you get outta here?
ok.
no.
not the dokken world tour '87 t-shirt.

1 - tomorrow's dream
2 - sweet leaf
3 - killing yourself to live
4 - cornucopia
5 - snowblind
6 - children of the grave
7 - war pigs
8 - wicked world
9 - paranoid

DL

v/a - in these black days

label: hydra head records
released: 1998

it's black sabbath.
it's bands covering black sabbath.
what more could you want right now?

what?
what's that look all about?
jealousy is a cruel mistress.
fine.
you want to play it this way?
could it be that these bands like black sabbath more than you?
who are you?
do you have any songs on black sabbath cover compilations?
does anyone outside of your cat really want to hear your abba influenced cover of "into the void"?
it's a hard road,bro.
but it's going to be ok.
you just need a little more practice.
call in sick for a few days and get it done.

so here we have some black sabbath covers that people want to hear.
yes.
even your mom would like these over whatever it is you're doing.
and we know that for a fact.
she mentioned it over breakfast.
she didn't even need to be asked.
"this toast is terrific. yeah. anyone covering black sabbath would be better than that. yes. even this toast. num num numnumnum num numnumnum.".
that was her covering "electric funeral" while eating toast.
it's getting a limited 7" release over in japan.
that's right.
and she's taking your cat out on the road with her.
yeah.
she'll be touring japan.
it's all been set up.
and you should hear its cover of "paranoid".
aka "purrrrranoid".

where am i going with this?
i'm your new stepdad.

1 - anal cunt - killing yourself to live
2 - anal cunt - it's alright/sabra cadabra
3 - eyehategod - sabbath jam*
4 - brutal truth - cornucopia
5 - converge - snowblind
6 - today is the day - sabbath bloody sabbath
7 - coalesce - supernaut
8 - cavity - into the void
9 - cable - planet caravan
10 - jesuit - hole in the sky
11 - overcast - national acrobat
12 - cave in - n.i.b.
13 - botch - the wizard
14 - neurosis - children in the grave
15 - soilent green - lord of the southern priest**

*=cornucopia/hand of doom/behind the wall of sleep
**=lord of this world/the sign of the southern cross/disturbing the priest

DL