v/a - buddyhead presents: gimme skelter

label: buddyhead
released: 2003

you like compilations.
we like compilations.
this is a compilation.

1 - iggy pop - introduction
2 - iggy pop - opening: new york is beating its chest...again
3 - mudhoney - hard-on for war
4 - yeah yeah yeahs - shot down
5 - pleasure forever - king cobra in the guts of valhalla
6 - iggy pop - interlude: go metal
7 - burning brides - overhead metal erection
8 - primal scream - shoot speed/kill light (live)
9 - dead meadow - let's jump in
10 - iggy pop - intermission: demon trance
11 - starvations - last night i had a nightmare we got married
12 - beehive & the barracudas - up in flames
13 - your enemies friends - back of a taxi (alternative grunge mix)
14 - le tigre - mediocrity rules
15 - wire - spent (under,faster mix)
16 - radio vago - intro/yearly note
17 - cave in - harmless armless/minus world
18 - weezer - you won't get with me tonight
19 - the icarus line - losing touch with my mind
20 - iggy pop - closing: a brief history of amerikkka
21 - shat - what the fuck do you think christina aguilera is doing right now?
22 - untitled track*

*=it's nardwuar "interviewing" iggy pop

DL

fear factory - soul of a new machine

label: roadrunner
released: 1992

here's a fun story that you can share the next time you're standing around the water cooler at work: fear factory had their song "replica" from the DEMANUFACTURE album included on the THE OZZFEST LIVE compilation back in 1997. shut up! like you didn't own it! like you've never been to one! fuck off! where you going? i'm not done with my story. you will stand there until i'm done! gloria! you sit the fuck down! you sit the fuck down right now! now where was i? oh yeah. right before they launch into the song their singer is all like "fuck mtv!" fuck yeah,right? wrong. the band later went on to play an mtv sponsored sporting event. yeah. they played while some wrasslers from the wcw did their wrasslin' thing during their spring break shindig back in 1999. i know,right? fucking kid rock was even there. they played "shock" and "edgecrusher" and "descent" off of the OBSELETE album. look that shit up on youtube,bro."

and then security showed up and you had to escape via one of the stairwells and then you went home and pulled the duffle bag out of the secret spot you'd made in the floor in the in the hallway closet. everything was there. the money. the fake mustache. the 70s cop sunglasses. but before your leave the apartment you go to the refrigerator and take out the last bottle of yoohoo. no one gets the yoohoo. no one but you. fuck you,society. fuck you.


DL

ministry - twitch

label: sire
released: 1986

"pussy shit." -al jourgensen

what more can be said about this album that hasn't already been said about it before....
"at least it's not WITH SYMPATHY."
sure.
but i've come to appreciate WITH SYMPATHY over time.
i don't mind it.
and then there's this.
if you were to play WITH SYMPATHY and THE LAND OF RAPE AND HONEY at the same time you'd get TWITCH.
you know that quiet kid that always sat by himself during lunch back in high school?
the one that all of the jocks would say shitty things to.
the one that would be walking to class and they'd get their books slapped out of their hands.
yeah.
that one.
TWITCH is that kid starting to get the courage to stand and look everyone in the eye.
just remember that kid will eventually become PSALM 69.
just remember that.

DL

the tanks - keep breaking down

label: scenester credentials
released: 2008

early clutch.
gay with abortion.
early helmet.
(the) melvins.

but with jello biafra vocals.

know what i mean?

and yes i know that jello biafra fronted the melvins for 2 albums.
the jelvins if you will.
but this is better than that.
that's right.
i said it.

DL

agress - 2009 demo

label: self released
released: 2009

once upon a time there was a band called agress. they were from cedar falls,ia. they've since split up and members went on to play in bands with the names black ice and lover's speed.

during their time as agress i managed to see them once. i'd put on a show that went down in jefferson,sd back in 2009. that's where i'd picked this up. yes. jefferson,sd at their community center. i was living in south dakota at the time though not in jefferson. there was a band that i'd been acquainted with at the time called tree. they were from sioux city,ia which was about 15 miles from jefferson and they'd played shows there from time to time so they hooked the location up. and now you know the story of the location. and as far as i know the community center has been closed down.

as for agress....
my first thought was "oh man! their singer has a thundercats belt buckle! sweet!". and then came the sounds. they played for roughly 30 minutes. "they could be best described as someone approaching a brick wall and bashing their body into until they made it through to the other side". that's what someone said. i was that someone. surprised? yeah. and then thoughts of bands like 16 and unsane and deadguy came to mind. and if i had been aware of the band nails back then they would've crossed my mind as well.

and with all of that being said i think that i've given you all of the information you need.
now go.
do what needs to be doing.

what are you still doing here?
what do you want?
fine.
let's just say that i could visit the corn palace and i'd been to shows in sioux falls.
satisfied?
sheeeeeeeeesh.

DL

testament - low

label: atlantic
released: 1994

i've been a fan of testament since high school. my first foray into testamantland was via HEADBANGERS BALL and the video for "souls of black". and then there was that kid in high school that was all into the metals. he'd helped it along by lending me some tapes. yes. tapes. THE NEW ORDER and PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH and SOULS OF BLACK. he'd also loaned me a vhs copy of megadeth playing "hangar 18" on THE ARSENIO HALL SHOW. that was crazy. i'd even seen the band living colour play "cult of personality" on THE ARSENIO HALL SHOW. the audience had no fucking idea what was happening. after having seen that of course i automatically went out and purchased a pair of orange skin tight shorts. but that's another story for another time.

i'm not really sure as to the reasoning behind my initial purchasing of this album.
maybe it was the cover art as i was a fan of dave mckean.
yeah.
i was really into comic books at the time.
you need to search out ARKHAM ASYLUM: A SERIOUS HOUSE ON SERIOUS EARTH.
and yes i know that it's a graphic novel.
shut up,nerd.

moving on.

maybe i'd just picked it up because of it being testament.
you don't know.
you weren't there.
just go and look at the security camera footage.

after having bought it it rarely left my walkman.
it had everything i needed in my life at the time.
grizzly bear vocals and kick-ass drumming.
and speaking of the drumming....
john tempesta.
fuck you,rob zombie.
you didn't know what you had there.
yeah.
let's just use some electronic sounding drums instead of awesomeness.

and yes.
even though i wasn't going to mention it the guitar playing was kick-ass as well.
i'm a fan of james murphy.
go and listen to death's SPIRITUAL HEALING.
go and listen to disincarnate's DREAMS OF THE CARRION KIND.
ok.....

i've always appreciated the fact that testament haven't given up their on their roots.
yeah.
i'm looking at you metallica.
you should've called it a day after AND JUSTICE FOR ALL.
i'm looking at you megadeth.
you should've called it a day after RUST IN PEACE.
i'm looking at you slayer.
you should've called it a day after SEASONS IN THE ABYSS.
but that's another rant for another time.
and besides....
you know i'm right.
you,the reader.
anthrax?
what about them?
anthrax are ok.
i even kinda sorta like the john bush albums.
fun fact: once upon a time i got a stripper to do her thing to the song "gridlock". it was pretty impressive. and that is how i met your mother,kids.

DL

crank sanatra - 2005 demo

label: self released
released: 2005

milquelizard
uncle touchy
genki genki panic

you know the names.
they all have something in common.
and that thing is [redacted].
we here at the SGM aren't allowed to talk about it.
there are black vans involved.
and these vans always seem to have the theme song to UNSOLVED MYSTERIES coming from the inside.
so yeah.
but what i can tell you is that the link comes in the form of a person.
no.
no literally.
maybe literally?
it doesn't matter.
what this person does in private is that person's business.
i know.
but this person always somehow finds the camera and covers it up.
the first time this person appeared to us at the SGM offices he was wearing a lucha libre mask and a cape and a neon pink thong.
when asked for an autograph he left behind 3 words: narcissitic ritualistic sexorcism
he then asked to use the bathroom.
and that's the last we'd seen of him.
we sometimes leave a bottle of strawberry kiwi mad dog 20/20 and a bag of flamin' hot funyuns under a large box being held up by a stick that has a rope attached to it in hopes of trapping this person but this person always manages to not trip the trap.
the mad dog 20/20 and flamin' hot funyuns fund is running low and we need your help.
yeah.
that's why i'm standing here with you in the stall.
i just don't take the time out of my day to just randomly stand in bathroom stalls.
well.
not anymore.
want a cookie?
yeah.
i'm sure you do.


DL

the red chord - fused together in revolving doors

label: robotic empire
released: 2002

the early 00s was a wonderous time to be alive.
unless you were aware of the mp3.com you'd think that music had all but died (well. at least on its way there).
as mentioned here on the SGM i'd done alot of poking and prodding around there....
a life once lost.
choke their rivers with our dead.
circle takes the square.
daughters.
guyana punch line.
maudlin of the well.
nuclear rabbit.
the postman syndrome.

just to name a few.
and no.
i didn't discover them in alphabetical order.
silly.

and then there's the red chord.
the first song i'd ever heard from them came from this album in the form of "dreaming in dog years".
it was such a clusterfuck.
chaotic precision.
the vocals reminded me of brutal truth's kevin sharp because of how it would go from completely fucking guttural like an attacking bear to an anguished scream like that same bear trying to tear itself free from a bear trap.
know what i mean?
sure you do.

and then that voice was trying to convince me that everything wasn't going to be all right and it wasn't going to be ok.....
i was fucking sold on this band and i wanted to subscribe to their newsletter.

do you own a copy of HELLFEST 2003 on dvd?
no?
what you need to do then is go into the youtubes and look for them performing "dreaming in dog years".
that's what they're all about,kid.

this album may be alot for most folks to take in at first.
the entire thing kicks off with the equivalent to someone screaming at you while firing off a semi-automatic weapon.
aka "nihilist".
also worth mentioning: this entire fucking album,pussy.

listen.
i've either already sold you on this album or i haven't or you're all like "oh man! finally! i lost my copy in the divorce! ha! fuck you,(insert name here)! you're the bestest,SGM!".

agreed.
we are the bestest.
take that,(insert name here).

DL

cream abdul babar - covering the track marks

label: underadar
released: 2006

you look as if you've been to the waffle house a few times.
am i correct in that assumption?
of course i am.
i can see the hashbrowns on the front of your shirt.
i can see that they've been there for awhile now.
no.
you can't even play the "i'm saving it for later" card.
that could've been played days ago.
but not now.
but i'm not here to criticize your apparel.
but i admire your dedication.
moving on.
waffle house hashbrowns.
i prefer mine smothered and covered.
yeah.
just like the unsane album.
nice one.
moving on.
this is a band called cream abdul babar.
they're from florida.
this is an album made up of covers.
and that's why i made the hashbrowns analogy.
yeah.
i can see by that smile that you appreciate a good analogy.
and now stop smiling.
you still have some hashbrowns....
yeah.
cream abdul babar have scattered themselves all over these songs.
they've covered bands with names like:
helmet
the jesus lizard
ministry

yeah.
things we here at the SGM enjoy.

so now that we've gotten all of that out of the way.....
let's go and get you a new shirt.
i hope you don't mind anal cunt.
no no.
come back.
it's a shirt.
i made it myself.


DL

breadwinner - 1990 demo

you may remember this band's name being bandied about around here from time to time in reference to bands with names like:
butterglove
honor role
ladyfiner
loincloth
and that's because they all share members.

and sure.
i could just leave this review with just that.
you probably already know about breadwinner anyway.
but what about those that don't,hmmmmmm?
what about those folks?
those folks might get some enjoyment out this if they dig bands with names like:
don caballero
battles (give their EP C a listen)
crime in choir (give their SELF-TITLED album a go)
lamb of god (when they were known as burn the priest and the NEW AMERICAN GOSPEL. what? you don't know about that album? come on now. you've heard of steve austin,yeah? no. not that steve austin. today is the day steve austin. yeah. that guy. you know what he's all about. he produced that album. he even shows up on the song "terror and hubris in the house of frank pollard" with some vocals. get it on some of that,man. this was before they became pantera. lamb of god. not today is the day. wouldn't that be funny. but that's another rant for another time.)

ok.
i've said enough.
you're just going to have to find it out for yourself.
i can only do so much.
and maybe i was just throwing out random bands names.
who knows.
i'll never tell.

DL